It’s Alive!

Hello everyone, as I teased on Friday, Friends Don’t Let Friends be Undead is now live on the Kindle.    Here’s the synopsis:

 “Three days after her husband dies, Lily is shocked to see him staring at her from outside her home. Calling on the four men he trusted most, Lily relies on them to place Steve back into his eternal rest. Guided by his journal, his friends will find that the man they loved has been replaced by a vicious fiend that will stop at nothing to sate its thirst for blood.”

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in reading just click on the cover below.

A big “Thank you” to my cover artist for another wonderful cover.

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Coming Next Week

Just wanted to drop a quick line and let everyone know that next week, my latest short story “Friends Don’t Let Friends be Undead” will be available on the Kindle.  This is a new horror short about a vampire and the four friends that have to return him to his eternal slumber.  So keep your eyes here, I’ll post the cover along with a link to the page as soon as it goes live.  Thanks for checking in and have a great weekend.

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The House of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie

A little explanation about our title for today.  When Universal started releasing their monster movies they were all the rage, but over time 1 monster just wasn’t enough.  Someone came up with the brilliant idea of combining the monsters.  So they would name it the House of stuff (but instead of stuff it was like Dracula or Frankenstein).  I thought that Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie should contribute to that proud tradition.

First they faced Dracula, then the Wolfman, then Frankenstein, and finally a mummy (not that one).  Now our detectives will face them all in:

The House of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie

At last we are all gathered.” Dracula announced, standing at the head of the long oak table. A fire burned nearby in the stone fireplace. “With Halloween’s sunset, we will conclude our business and the world will rediscover terror.”

Yup, the boys are back in town.

Yup, the boys are back in town.

As he let loose a malevolent laugh, the other assembled monsters joined in. The wolfman, Peter Stubbe, split the night with a howl that lasted through the final notes of laughter. “And what about those two detectives?” Dr. Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked.

Ah yes, good question my dear doctor. And might I add, that you have done your ancestors proud.” Dracula stated, motioning to the large stitched figure seated beside her. The scientist patted her creation on the shoulder, proudly. “As for the detectives, we will deal with them in the same manner that we dealt with the interloper, Azul Gato.”

The Aztec Mummy, seated at the far end of the table, stiffened, more than his already stiff body was. “I am not sure what you mean.” Frankenstein stated. “They cannot be deported.”

No, they cannot.” Dracula stated, a malevolent smile crossing his lips, revealing his pointed fangs. “But the human authorities can easily delay them for us. With my newest human servant, that will not be a difficult task.”

Rachael N. Field, reporter assigned to follow Chief of Police Alyssandra Mendez, stood outside the offices of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie. She waited until the daring detectives arrived. It was still several minutes before their scheduled office hours, when she heard the approaching footsteps of something heavy. Turning towards the stairway door, she saw the oversized frame of Pecan Sandie squeeze through the doorway and step into the hall. “Mr. Sandie, a pleasure to see you again.” Field called and gave a short wave.

Pecan nodded. “And what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?” Lollipop asked from behind the reporter.

Spinning, Rachael gasped, clutching a hand to her heart. “Oh!” She exclaimed. “You startled me.”

Sorry.” Lollipop Jones apologized.

The detective was dressed in her usual trench coat and hat, the white stick of a sucker, protruding between her lips. “No worries.” Rachael replied. “I was wanting to get an exclusive interview with you for my article of the chief.”

Pecan Sandie had joined them and unlocked their office door. He looked at his partner and shrugged. “Okay.” Lollipop agreed. “But make it quick.”

Rachael followed Pecan into the office, with Lollipop entering last. Sitting down in front of Pecan’s desk, Rachael surveyed the office. “I only had a few questions regarding the recent events at the museum.” Field explained, as she flipped open her notebook.

After asking a few superficial questions, Rachael thanked the detectives and left their office. As she passed through the small waiting room, she dropped something behind one of the plants in the corner.

So we haven’t had any luck with the exhibit at the museum.” Lollipop stated.

Pecan nodded. The duo had been through every article associated with the exhibit that Dracula had hitchhiked in with, and they had found no clue as to where the lord of the vampires could be hiding. Outside, the sun was starting to sink behind the buildings. A loud knocking came from the door. Stepping into the small waiting area, Lollipop opened it. Standing in the hallway was Alyssandra Mendez, the chief of police. “Hey Chief.” Lollipop greeted.

Ms. Jones, I’m afraid I have a warrant to search these premises.” Mendez stated, holding up the paper.

What?” Pecan rumbled from the office area.

Some of the policemen reached towards their sidearms. “I wouldn’t do that guys.” Lollipop cautioned.

It’s all right.” Mendez stated. “If you’ll let my men inside, I’ll explain.”

Stepping back into their office, the police started to search through the small waiting area. The detectives sat behind their respective desks. Lollipop discarded the empty stick from her mouth and replaced it with a fresh sucker from her pocket. “Earlier this afternoon, we received a call of an attack.” Mendez started. “We were able to get several eye witnesses to the event. At first, we thought it might be related to the strange things this city has witnessed this month, but after talking to the witnesses, we don’t think so.”

What did they see?” Lollipop asked.

A man, matching Pecan Sandie’s description, nearly flattened a car and made off with the elderly woman driver.” Mendez explained. “Can you account for his whereabouts today?”

He’s been in the office with me all day.” Lollipop Jones stated.

Pecan sat behind his desk, a slowly burning look of rage smoldered in his eyes. “I’m not sure it was him, so we’re doing this as a precaution, just to go ahead and clear his name.”

Chief?” One of the police called from the small waiting room.

Excuse me.” She said, stepping out to speak with her men.

The chief returned a moment later, carrying a woman’s wallet. “Can you explain how this got here?” She asked.

Never seen it before.” Pecan stated.

Me either.” Lollipop agreed.

It belongs to our victim.” Mendez announced. “Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie, I’m placing you under arrest for the assault and abduction of Henrietta Von Frankenstein.”

Pecan flipped his desk into their path and rushed across the small room. He lifted up Lollipop Jones and burst through the window behind her, landing on the fire escape. “What?” She started to ask.

Run.” Pecan rumbled, as he began to slide down the stairs to the next floor.

After repeating the procedure several times, the duo were in the alley. Lollipop saw flashing blue lights on one end of the alley, but not the other. Running away from the police, she heard Pecan Sandie trundling along behind her. Several blocks away from their office, seeking shelter from the cold autumn wind, the duo sat in a parking garage stairwell. “You know who’s responsible for this.” Pecan stated, his voice filled with anger.

Yeah, I heard who the victim was and I can think of something that fits your description pretty well.” Lollipop agreed, remembering how the mad doctor’s creation had been almost the same size as her partner. “I still don’t see how they could have gotten her wallet into our office.”

Field.” Pecan replied.

What?” Lollipop asked.

R. N. Field” Pecan explained. “She’s working for Dracula.”

How?” Lollipop stated. “Wouldn’t she have to have contact with him first?”

Pecan nodded. “It’s the only possible way. And she made sure the police found out that the attacker looked like me. Plus, I mean this is kind of how these things always tend to work out.”

Yeah, it’s odd. It’s almost like lazy writing, but anyway. Looks like it’s time to meet the press.” Lollipop Jones stated, heading out of the stairwell.

Rachael Field was walking out of her apartment to her car. Her eyes were glazed over and she did not see the detectives standing beside her walkway. “Hey there Field.” Lollipop called.

The reporter did not even look at them. “Rude.” Pecan stated, as he reached out towards her.

Lollipop put a hand on her partner’s shoulder. “Look at her face.” She said pointing.

The hulking behemoth noticed that the reporter’s features were slack. “Hypnotism.” Pecan rumbled.

Right. Dracula tried to do the same thing to me.” Lollipop explained. “He wasn’t as good as my teachers.”

Lollipop Jones was referring to the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, an order of warrior nuns that had trained her. “Follow her?” Pecan offered.

Lollipop nodded. As the reporter opened the driver’s side door of her car, the detectives climbed into the backseat. If she noticed, she didn’t give any indication.. Rachael N. Field cranked the car and started driving.

You are here at the sufferance of us all!” Dracula shouted, pointing at the Aztec Mummy.

The mummy mumbled something in response. “He’s right.” Peter Stubbe, still in human form, replied. “If we could have gotten into a town with an Egyptian wing, you wouldn’t be here.”

Crossing his arms, the Aztec Mummy sat down. “Is he pouting?” Dracula asked incredulously.

Peter just shrugged. “Hrm, chge burrat.” Frankenstein’s creature said, his motor skills weren’t great yet, but he was learning speech: slowly but surely.

He’s right!” Dracula exclaimed, motioning toward the creature. “Why do you turn into a bat? You aren’t a vampire or even a bat related creature. And what’s the deal with draining one victim of blood? You are like some stupid amalgamation of monsters.”

The Aztec Mummy made a response, but its mask muffled the sound. “And take off that stupid mask or quit talking. It’s rude to mumble.” Dracula replied to the mumbled comeback.

How long?” Peter Stubbe asked.

Henrietta Von Frankenstein checked her watch. “He should be here in about five minutes.” She replied.

Well, might as well get my game face on.” Peter Stubbe stated, as his nose began to elongate and black fur started to sprout from his pores.

Indeed.” Dracula agreed, distracted. “Ah, my new assistant is arriving, just in time.”

Rachael stopped her car in front of the old colonial home. Large trees obscured the front of the house, but the stairs were clear enough. Lights were shining inside the derelict structure. “Seems like a good monster hangout.” Pecan stated, stepping from the cramped car and stretching.

Yeah.” Lollipop agreed. “I don’t want her to be a problem.”

With a light tap, Lollipop rendered the human thrall unconscious. Pecan caught her and set her back into her car. “Do you think we should knock?” Pecan asked, a feral grin on his face.

Not yet.” Lollipop stated. “We don’t have much of a plan.”

The two detectives quickly devised a strategy. “Now why don’t you knock?” Lollipop Jones asked, as she vanished around the back of the house.

Taking the front steps in two bounds, Pecan Sandie drew back and placed his gigantic fist directly in the center of the two entry doors. They rocketed off the hinges and flew into the foyer, sliding into the dining room. “Well someone’s being loud this evening.” Dracula stated.

He entered the foyer, smiling. It quickly fell from his face, when he saw the giant figure looming. “You!” He exclaimed. “We will not allow you to stop us. Get him!”

As the gathered monsters rushed from their seats towards Pecan Sandie, the massive man calmly plucked his flip out battle axe from his back. With a flick of his wrist, he extended the deadly weapon. As he started to laugh, a rumbling sound that echoed in the large old house, the monsters stopped, unsure of themselves. “Well?” Pecan Sandie challenged.

Frankenstein’s patchwork man rushed forward, his mismatched fists raised above his head. Lowering his shoulder, Pecan slammed into the broad brute, bouncing him into the wall. The weight of the creature was too great and the wall collapsed, dropping the stitched together monster onto the weak floor boards. His attention turned towards the product of science, Peter Stubbe attached Pecan Sandie from behind. Spinning, the gargantuan detective caught the wolfman mid-leap and spun, releasing the furry fiend. As planned, the werewolf crashed into the Aztec Mummy, leaving both of them in a heap on the floor. “You tried to frame me?!” Pecan demanded.

Looking at his downed companions, Dracula held his hands up innocently in front of him. “Okay, I can see why you might be upset, but this gathering is incredibly important for us. We couldn’t have you interrupting it.” Dracula explained.

Did you think that killing a museum guard and turning several others into vampires was not the best way to keep a low profile?” Pecan Sandie asked in his rumbling voice.

I know, the guard was just there and I had forgot to pack a snack for the trip. So I’m really sorry about that, but you know, accidents happen.” Dracula offered weakly.

You got this goon involved?” Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked from the dining room.

Not intentionally.” The vampire explained. “How was I supposed to know that the police would bring in these two . . . where’s the other one?”

As if on cue, Lollipop Jones rushed in from behind and planted the heel of her foot directly into the small of the noble nosferatu’s back. The well-dressed undead dropped with a groan. “I’m right here.” Lollipop stated.

The wolfman, having untangled himself from the Aztec Mummy’s trappings, rushed towards the lithe female detective. With a quick turn, she planted her first in the fur covered abdomen of her attacker, delivering an Uber-Death Punch. The boneless werewolf collapsed in a puddle of fur. “Won’t keep him down.” Pecan stated.

I know.” Lollipop responded, as she turned her attentions back to Dracula.

Two arms, both made from different pieces of men with scientifically enhanced strength, wrapped around Pecan’s chest, trapping his arms by his side. Struggling, the massive man mountain tried to break the hold of Frankenstein’s creature. Laughing, at least it sounded like laughing, but was muffled by its burial mask, the Aztec Mummy approached the struggling detective. A ceremonial bowl in one hand, with a raised obsidian dagger clutched in the other. Lollipop Jones saw her partner’s peril and turned to attend to it. Dracula grabbed her ponytail and hurled her away from Pecan. “Now you foolish wench! I have commanded nations and you think to defeat me.” He sneered, baring his fangs.

As she bounced off the wall, the air was forced from her lungs, expelling her sucker across the room, where it shattered on the floor. Reaching up, Lollipop wiped a drop of blood from underneath her nose and saw her devastated sugary treat. “Now, I’m pissed.” She stated. Reaching inside her coat, she retrieved a pale yellow sucker that was almost translucent. “This one’s just for you.” She announced as she placed the confection in her mouth.

Pecan Sandie fought to get free of his physical match and avoid the dangerous dagger of the demented dead guy in rags (that’s a lot of d’s but I love alliteration). Almost upon him, the window high up in the wall, shattered. A familiar blue masked luchador descended, landing on top of the Aztec Mummy. “Hola, amigos.” Azul Gato greeted. “I told you it would only take about a week.”

Smiling, Pecan Sandie slammed his head straight back into the mad science project’s face. With a satisfying crunch, Pecan felt the vice like grip around him loosen. Straining, Pecan broke the bear hug and turned to face the monster. Dropping his axe to the floor, Pecan hoisted the behemoth off his feet and tossed him back into the dining room. “Heavy.” Pecan stated, stretching.

Lollipop Jones and Dracula circled each other, both of them seeking an opening to attack. Dracula came in and slashed at the dainty detective. Lollipop easily dodged the attack and saw her opportunity. Taking the sucker from her mouth, she slapped the sticky orb right between Dracula’s eyes, like one of those kids that always leaves half-eaten candy where you’re most likely to accidentally find it. We all know those kids and can’t stand them, but this was a dangerous warrior nun trained detective fighting a monster, so we’ll let it slide, won’t we folks? Flipping away from the vampire, Lollipop joined Pecan Sandie and Azul Gato in the center of the foyer. Smoke started to drift from Dracula’s forehead. “Ow!” He shouted, flailing around, trying to get the sticky treat off his head. “What is this?”

Garlic lollipop.” Jones stated.

Why would you even have this?” Dracula questioned, as he finally wrenched the treat from his smoking forehead.

With his bones half formed, the wolfman tried to pull himself over towards the crime fighters. Pecan grabbed the furry lump and tossed it into Dracula. “Are we good?” Pecan asked.

Lollipop did a quick check around them. “Yup. Water’s on the left.” She answered.

Frankenstein’s creature came rushing from the dining room. “I’m on it.” Lollipop stated.

Pecan, trusting his partner, punched through the floor and came up with two different sets of pipes. One was PVC and the other was a rubber tubing. As the creature charged, Lollipop Jones stepped in front of the jigsaw juggernaut. Swatting at the diminutive detective, the monster gave Lollipop the chance she needed. Grasping the malformed arm, Lollipop pivoted and used the creature’s momentum against it. Sailing through the air, the hulking beast crashed down beside Dracula and the werewolf.

Breaking the PVC pipe, Pecan began to spray the jumbled monsters with water. “Gato.” Pecan said.

The luchador had the Aztec Mummy on his shoulders and was performing an airplane spin. “Gladly.” Azul Gato responded, tossing the bandaged bad guy among its soaking associates.

Water?” Dracula questioned, laughing. “You will have to do better than this.”

I plan on it.” Pecan said, cutting the rubber tubing with his battle axe.

Sparks flew from the severed power line. The monster’s eyes grew wide as the massive detective dropped the line onto the wet floor. As the electricity coursed through the monsters, the most diabolical fiend entered the house: the creature from the law firm of Black, Lagoon, and Gillman. And not just a creature, but a partner nonetheless, Gillman himself was here to oversee the gathering. Its three piece suit was impeccable, with its green scaled head rising above a designer tie. “What’s the meaning of this?” The creature asked, staring at the scene before it. Its voice was watery and had a similar sound to a gurgle.

Yeah, definitely an "innocent" looking gathering.

Yeah, definitely an “innocent” looking gathering.

Grabbing the well-dressed monster, Pecan shoved it into the electrical current. Dropping its briefcase, the Gillman became trapped in the shocking flow of power. As the grandfather clock in the corner started to chime midnight, the power shorted out and the monsters were free. Smoke rising off of them, the monsters began to wail. “No!” Dracula cried to the rafters. “What can we do?”

Standing up the lawyer straightened his tie with his webbed hands. “Unfortunately, I warned you that holding the meeting so close to the deadline might cause problems. The contracts, with the exception of mine, have expired. We have thirty days to negotiate some consignments, but unfortunately we have lost the upper hand.”

What?” Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked, as she emerged from the closet where she had hidden. “I went through all that trouble though.”

As I said, not all hope is lost. We can get something, but we have lost our chance to renew the contract under the old terms.” Gillman explained.

What’s going on?” Lollipop demanded. “Are we going to finish this or what?”

She was ready to continue her fight. Behind her, Pecan Sandie stood with battle axe in hand, ready as well. Azul Gato leaned against the wall, his eyes watching the Aztec Mummy. “What’s the point?” Dracula lamented.

Peter Stubbe, the wolfman, let out a whine. “I’m sorry.” Gillman started. “It seems that you have stumbled onto something outside your scope. I represent my clients for their contract negotiations. In order to renew our contracts under the current terms, all forms must be signed by midnight on Halloween every ten years.”

Contracts?” Pecan asked, confused.

Yes. My clients’ likeness is used in merchandising worldwide, it’s my job to make sure that they are properly compensated for said use.” Gillman explained. Producing a card from inside his jacket, the amphibious creature handed one to each of the detectives. “If you ever need representing, look me up.” Turning to the rest of the monsters, he continued. “Be at my office tomorrow evening and we’ll try to salvage this.”

Walking out into the night, the detectives watched as the Gillman got behind the wheel of a new luxury sedan and drove off. “Wonderful.” Dracula stated.

The monsters prepared to depart. “Wait!” Azul Gato stated. “I have no quarrel with most of you, but the Aztec Mummy cannot be allowed to leave here.”

A muffled laughter erupted from under the mask, the mummy said something and gestured to the other monsters present. “What’s he saying?” Lollipop asked.

Who knows?” Dracula replied. “He’s all yours, we don’t even like that guy.”

His laughter stopped as the mummy turned and watched as the other monsters headed for the door. Making a fist, Azul Gato cracked his knuckles. “Do you need any help?” Lollipop asked.

No. I will see you some other time amigos.” Azul Gato stated as he approached the bandaged fiend.

Stepping out onto the steps of the old house, the detectives saw a bat flitting away into the night, the wolfman disappeared into the woods, and Frankenstein and her creature were walking down the driveway. Rachael N. Field was waking up behind the wheel of her car. Shaking her head, the reporter cranked the car and drove off. “How did you know that would work?” Lollipop asked Pecan.

Don’t cross the streams, until you have to so you can save the day.” Pecan answered.

Right, never cross the streams.

Right, never cross the streams.

Really, you’re going to end on a Ghostbusters’ quote?” Lollipop Jones asked.

End?” Pecan asked.

Not you. I’m talking to you, Mr. Tucker.” Lollipop stated, shattering the fourth wall. “You’re going to end this five part story with a Ghostbusters’ quote?” She questioned.

It’s the thirtieth anniversary, so yes Lollipop Jones, I am.

I don’t mind ending on a Ghostbusters’ quote.” Pecan Sandie announced. “Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!”

That's right 30 years of mass hysteria.

That’s right 30 years of mass hysteria.

The End

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Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs the Mummy (but not that one)

Just as a little sidenote, I love Luchador films.  That has nothing really to do with this week’s Horror themed adventure, but you know, just felt like sharing.    Following their encounter with Dracula, face-off with the Wolfman, and shocking Frankenstein experience, I give to you:

Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs The Mummy (but not that one)

Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones were going through the city museum’s latest exhibit, an exhibit that had brought Count Dracula to the city. The vampire lord had escaped. So far the wolfman and a descendant of Frankenstein had shown up. All of them had gotten away, although it wasn’t clear what had become of the female Frankenstein and her creation. “What are we doing here?” Lollipop asked, taking the empty sucker stick from her mouth. Rifling through her pockets, she retrieved another sucker. “I’ve only got one more of these left, so we need to make this quick.”

I thought Dracula might have left a clue.” Pecan stated, his voice rumbling like thunder.

Why don’t we open the crate?” Lollipop asked, pointing at the crate displayed beneath the glass enclosure.

It had been the method of travel implored by the undead fiend. Pecan shrugged and approached the counter. He raised his massive fist into the air. Lollipop looked away to avoid any flying glass. After the shattering sound, she looked back. Pecan Sandie, massive mountain of a man, stood looking towards the entrance, his fist still raised in the air, the glass counter unscathed. “Was that you?” Lollipop Jones asked.

Pecan shook his head. “This way.” He said, heading towards the entrance.

Stepping through the arching doorway, the detectives saw the shattered remains of a display case. Standing in the center of the foyer was a figure wearing a feathered headdress and wrapped in ancient cloth. “A mummy?” Lollipop stated. “Really?”

Turning towards the sound, the mummy made a muffled sound from underneath its ornate carven mask. “I think it’s trying to talk.” Pecan stated, staring confused at the creature. “I thought only the Egyptian ones came back.”

The mummy put a hand on its desiccated hip and shook a fist at the hulking man. Pecan grabbed the mummy’s outstretched hand and swung the bandaged figure around. Letting go, he sent the Aztec figure crashing into the wall. Pushing free of the wall, the figure stood up, cracking its vertebrae. “You wouldn’t happen to have a book on mummies would you?” Lollipop asked.

Not with me.” Pecan responded.

Lollipop Jones, trained by the warrior nuns of the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, planted her feet and prepared to strike down the ancient being. As she drew back to strike, an engine revved from outside and a motorcycle crashed through the glass doors. A man in a blue mask, red cape, and spandex outfit, leaped from the rolling machine and landed on Pecan’s shoulders. Using this new distraction to its advantage, the Aztec Mummy morphed into a bat and flew into the night. “Why did the mummy just turn into a bat?” Lollipop asked, turning back to her partner.

Surprisingly, the masked wrestler was still grappling with Pecan Sandie. With his legs wrapped tightly around the corded muscles of Sandie’s neck, the luchador was trying to flip the large man over. Tapping the wrestler on the forehead, Jones got his attention. “Excuse me.” She stated. “What are you doing?”

I will deal with you in a moment, bruja.” The wrestler stated.

Wrapping his massive hands around the wrestler’s legs, Pecan Sandie tried to pry the man off. “I don’t know what you just called me, but I’m going to assume it wasn’t nice.” Lollipop announced.

As Pecan leveraged the spandex clad legs apart, Lollipop delivered an open handed blow to the side of the masked man’s head. His legs no longer locked around Pecan’s throat, the man dropped to the floor. Rolling back to his feet, the wrestler stumbled back trying to regain his balance. “Now why did you attack us?” Lollipop asked again.

Yeah.” Pecan stated. “I thought you guys fought against Aztec Mummies and monsters.”

Are you not the beast of Frankenstein?” The luchador asked, accusingly.

Him?” Lollipop asked, pointing at her partner. “We fought against that guy just last week. He and his creator were washed away in the flood from the dam.”

I saw you there. Do you expect me to believe that you are not the creature?” The wrestler asked again.

Look, I’m Lollipop Jones and this is my partner, Pecan Sandie.” The female detective introduced them. “Note how neither of us introduces ourselves as Frankenstein.”

I have heard tales of the great Lollipop and Pecan.” The luchador stated, his voice conveying the awe that he felt. “Please accept my apologies. After having seen your friend survive the flood, combined with his size and strength, I assumed he was the creature.”

No worries.” Pecan stated, rubbing a hand around his throat. “Good grip.”

Thank you. I am the Azul Gato, my father the Azul Tigre once wore a mask as well.” Gato explained. “It was after defeating an Aztec Mummy that he made his way to the main event in the sky.”

Pictured: Azul Gato, high school portrait

Pictured: Azul Gato, high school portrait

Sorry to hear it.” Lollipop said. “You should probably go back to Mexico. We’ll wrap up this mummy case.”

I would love to go home to Mexico, but it is a matter of honor that I cannot. My family has confronted these creatures of living death for five generations.” He stated. “I would gladly accept your help against this menace though.”

Lollipop and Pecan exchanged a glance. “What do you think?” Jones asked.

I don’t think I have a book on them.” Pecan offered.

Well then that’s settled.” Lollipop replied. “Azul Gato welcome aboard. You need to clean up the mess you made though.”

No worries.” Gato stated. “I can have this patched up in no time.”

Jones gave Azul Gato the address to their offices and told him to meet them there, once he had finished fixing the glass doors.

As the sun rose into the sky, the Azul Gato entered the office of the detectives. “That was quick.” Pecan commented.

I know a guy.” Gato replied.

As long as it’s fixed, I don’t care.” Lollipop stated. “Okay expert, what can we expect from the mummy.”

The Aztec Mummy brought here was a high priest. He is the first high priest to have awaken in nearly sixty years. He is also the only Aztec Mummy to resurrect away from Mexico.” Gato explained. “I am curious to know why now and here.”

Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie shared a concerned glance. “We’ve had a lot of monster problems lately.” Jones informed the wrestler.

They are gathering?” Gato asked.

Pecan merely nodded.

No good can come of this.” Gato stated. “If we are to stop the mummy from joining their ranks, then we must stop him before he can gather himself.”

What?” Pecan asked, confused by the luchador’s statement.

Sorry.” Gato apologized. “He must gather himself, not his body, but the things that denote his position. To be a complete and true Aztec Mummy, he will search for the tools of his life before mummification. Also, he will most likely take a victim.”

Good to know.” Jones responded. “Answer me this, why did he turn into a bat? I thought that was strictly a vampire trick.”

Azul Gato laughed, a hearty sound. “He transforms himself for the same reason that I drive a motorcycle, because I can.”

I can tell that you are just going to be a big ball of helpful.” Lollipop stated, sarcasm dripping from her words.

I cannot tell you why it is an evil creature or why it transforms into a bat. I also cannot tell you why it will drain the blood of its first victim and try to cut the heart out of the others. What I do know is that it will return to the museum for more of the artifacts related to the Aztec priesthood.” Gato informed them. “If we can find the first victim, we may know where its layer is, but without that we can be prepared at the museum tonight.”

As the transplanted crime fighter finished speaking, the phone rang. Picking up the receiver, Lollipop greeted the caller. It was a quick conversation. “That was Chief Mendez.” Lollipop Jones stated, opening the top drawer of her desk. “We’ve either found another vampire victim or the Aztec Mummy has struck.”

Pulling out a handful of suckers, Jones began distributing them to the different pockets of her coat. Gato gave a curious look to Pecan. The giant just shrugged his shoulders as he headed for the door.

The trio arrived at the crime scene only a few minutes later. Police Chief Alyssandra Mendez greeted them personally. “Azul Gato?” She asked.

Si, Senorita.” He answered with a slight bow.

I am honored to have such a distinguished figure working with us.” The chief replied, her cheeks starting to blush.

R. N. Field, a reporter assigned to the follow the chief, seemed overly interested in the wrestler. She looked like she had not slept well in weeks, bags had piled up under her eyes and her complexion seemed to have paled since their last meeting with her. “You of course remember Ms. Field.” Alyssandra stated, acknowledging the woman.

Of course.” Lollipop replied. “You have something for us chief?”

Right this way.” Alyssandra stated as she led the trio, the reported close behind.

Laying in the alley was one of the city’s homeless population. The body was a dried out husk. It was obvious that any fluid in the body had been removed. Kneeling down, the two detectives examined the body. They saw no signs of traditional vampirism. “How can we tell about your guy?” Lollipop asked Gato.

Look around the wrist.” Azul Gato instructed. “If you see the mark you’ll know.”

Checking the wrist, the detectives found a wound. It was about as wide as one of the mummy’s bandages. “Well that answers that question.” Pecan stated.

Chief, this isn’t related to the other incident.” Lollipop said.

There are others?” Alyssandra asked, casting a quick glance at the attendant reporter.

Not quite.” Lollipop answered. “This is the only person you’ll find with this wound.”

Azul Gato nodded to confirm her statement. “I see.” The chief said. “Very well, if you two are on the case with Azul Gato, then I’ll leave you to it, but please keep me posted.”

Of course.” Lollipop said, as she walked with the others back towards the street.

Clear of the crime scene and the authorities, the detectives started getting more information from the Latino crime fighter. “So it’ll go back to the museum?” Pecan asked.

Yes.” Gato confirmed. “It will need a bowl, sacred knife, and stone tablet.”

Why?” Lollipop asked.

Those were the three items unearthed with it. It’s only goal will be to collect them, then it may begin human sacrifices or it may proceed to join this conglomeration of terror that you spoke of earlier.” Azul Gato explained.

Aztec Mummy getting down to business.

Aztec Mummy getting down to business.

All right, so it would seem that we need to set up a watch for our bandaged boogeyman.” Lollipop stated.

One other thing. It may have called servants to itself.” Azul Gato cautioned. “Beings of neither the spirit world nor ours, but things in between that only the priests of old can summon.”

Can I just say that this keeps getting better and better.” Lollipop said.

Tossing an empty sucker stick into a nearby trash can, Lollipop retrieved a fresh one from her pocket and put it in her mouth.

As the sun sank, Azul Gato, Lollipop Jones, and Pecan Sandie were hiding behind different exhibits, all centered on the other artifacts found with the mummy. “So what’s the deal with this guy?” Pecan asked.

I know right, he seems to have a lot in common with a vampire.” Lollipop agreed.

I do not know, not all Aztec Mummies are the same. Some can change shape, other don’t. One of them even fought a robot, depends on what movie you watch” Azul Gato stated. “Most of them that I have faced are warriors, they look to reclaim their weapons and then go on a rampage. Sometimes they are a little more romantically inclined and kidnap women.”

See!  Told you so.

See! Told you so.

I don’t even know how that would work.” Lollipop stated, slightly disgusted.

Neither do I.” Azul Gato admitted. “We’ve always rescued her once they get to their lair.”

We?” Pecan asked.

The luchadores!” Azul Gato exclaimed.

The detective duo only had one more question after that. “How do we stop it?” They asked in unison.

Burn it, break its bones, unravel it.” Azul Gato replied. “They are pretty easy to deal with. The servants will be the hard part.”

Lollipop Jones formed her delicate hands into fists, popping each of the knuckles in turn. “Not a problem.” She stated.

Pecan slid his battle axe from his back. The instrument of destruction was still folded in half, when the time came, the gargantuan brute would unfold his tool. “When he comes, if you will deal with the servants, I will handle the mummy.” Azul Gato stated.

Pecan nodded his agreement. “Whatever.” Lollipop replied.

The dainty danger did not care who took care of it as long as this one didn’t slip away like the others had. “Bill Murray once fought off an Aztec cult while filming Quick Change.” Pecan said.

His voice held that solemn quality that he only got when he was referencing Bill Murray. “You really think now’s a good time for a Bill Murray story?” She asked.

It’s always the right time for Murray.” Pecan responded. His love of the iconic actor bordered on zealous obsession. “Apparently, they infiltrated the set and wanted to dispatch some actors to their god or something. Anyway, Bill Murray escaped and subdued the cultists with a combination of wit, charm, and small arms fire.”

Why did no one put this in the news?” Azul Gato asked, enthralled by the story.

There’s a woman who walks past selling flowers for the dead. She’s a little Latino woman, they put her in the film. In reality, she was mourning the loss of her son who was part of the cult. If they had told the press, then they couldn’t use the scene, so they kept it quiet.” Pecan explained. “Bill Murray did not mind though, he isn’t a glory hound.”

He must truly be a great man.” Azul Gato stated. “He did that and made Ghostbusters.”

Exactly.” Pecan Sandie agreed.

Lollipop Jones just groaned. From the front of the museum, glass shattered and shambling footsteps echoed off the tiled floor. Crouching down to keep concealed, the trio of crime fighters waited. The Aztec Mummy came shambling past, wiping something from its eyes. Following behind it were four figures, dressed in Aztec clothing, they looked human enough but were gray skinned. Stretching, the mummy yawned, a sound muffled by its mask, and walked towards the necessary case. Nodding to her partner, Lollipop glided behind the exhibits toward the gray beings.

Waiting until she was in position, Lollipop gave Azul Gato a thumbs up. The luchador leaped to the top of his hiding place and let out a cry. “Aztec Mummy you have traversed the laws of nature. I, Azul Gato, have come to see that you are returned to your slumber.” Finishing his speak, the wrestler rushed off his makeshift podium and clothes-lined the mummified menace.

Standing up, Pecan Sandie unfolded his axe with the flick of his wrist. The servants of the mummy were not sure who to engage. While they were caught in their indecision, Lollipop Jones crept up behind one of them and delivered a crippling blow directly to the spine, like a chiropractor that breaks backs rather than fixes them, so not really like a chiropractor, well maybe a bad chiropractor, . . . you know what we’ll go with like a chiropractor, we can discuss what type of chiropractor later. Turning at the shriek of their companion, the servants gave Pecan Sandie opportunity to rush them.

Two of the servants faced the rampaging behemoth. The other servant squared off against Lollipop Jones. As the crippled servant lay on the ground, it started to evaporate. It did not reform behind her or anywhere else nearby. “Hey Pecan!” Lollipop cried. “These guys don’t regenerate.”

A feral grin crossed Pecan’s lips as he buried the axe into one of the servant’s chests. The figure collapsed. His partner drew an obsidian blade from his belt and charged at the unarmed Pecan. Although, a man that can crush pecans with his bare hands is not exactly helpless. Grabbing the man’s wrist, keeping the knife from cutting him, Pecan swung the man over his head and onto the floor. Not letting go, Pecan repeated the action several times. When he let go, the figure was already returning to the realm it had been summoned from.

His battle axe was now lying on the floor. Grabbing the weapon, Pecan folded it back up and slid it onto its place across his back. He watched as Lollipop Jones dodged several swipes of an obsidian blade, wielded by her opponent. Ducking under a vicious slash, she delivered an Uber-Death Punch, the greatest technique of the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, to the servant’s stomach. As all of its bones were atomized and the boneless mass collapsed to the floor, Pecan turned to see how the Azul Gato was faring.

Lifting the Aztec Mummy into the air, Azul Gato dropped it back, executing a perfect suplex. Pecan thought that the mummy might be protesting but the mask kept its voice muffled. Jumping onto an exhibit case, the wrestler launched himself into the air and dropped an elbow onto the mummy’s sternum. The downed monster curled into a ball once the luchador moved. “It is time to end you.” Azul Gato proclaimed.

Grabbing the Aztec Mummy by the legs, the luchador dragged the fighting figure across the floor towards a large stone slab. The detectives assumed it was his intention to drop the stone onto the mummy and break its bones. “Freeze! I-N-S.” A voice shouted from behind them.

Raising their hands, Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones stood, as several men in navy blue nylon windbreakers with the letters written in yellow along the back, converged on them. “We must destroy . . .” Azul Gato started as he was tazed.

In the clutches of the electric barbs, the luchador lost his grip on the mummy. Rushing away, the creature broke open the case and grabbed the artifacts. As the windbreakered interlopers shouted orders at the mummy, it turned into a bat and disappeared into the dark recesses of the museum. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Lollipop Jones exclaimed.

Outside the museum, a bat emerged from the broken doors and fluttered into the night. R. N. Field stood in the shadows, her phone in her hand. “Yes, master. The mummy has escaped. Azul Gato has been apprehended as you requested.” The reporter’s voice was heavy, as if she were talking in her sleep.

Hanging up the phone, she looked around wondering why she was at the museum. Confused and worried about the sleepwalking she had been doing lately, the reporter went back to her car.

After confirming that Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie were citizens, the detecting duo were released. Azul Gato in his hurry to confront the mummy had failed to follow proper protocol at the border and had been deported. “I will return.” He told them from the back of the authority’s car. “It’ll take me about a week or so, but I will be back.”

As the car drove off with the luchador, Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones stood in front of the museum. “I don’t like this.” Lollipop said to Pecan.

Me either.” He agreed.

I think we can find them, but I’m not sure what to do if we do. It’s not like we’ve had the best of luck stopping these guys.” She stated.

I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet, maybe dynamite.” Pecan stated.

Lollipop knew it was a quote from Bill Murray’s film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, but it seemed oddly appropriate. “Come on, we’ve got work to do if we’re going to stop this gathering of theirs.” Lollipop said.

The duo walked away, knowing that if they didn’t stop the gathering something terrible would befall the city.

The End?

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Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs Frankenstein

Hello all, as you can tell I’m doing a horror themed month with your favorite detective duo.  So as a follow up to their adventure with Dracula and their run in with the Wolfman, I give you:

Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs Frankenstein

Pecan Sandie was pacing the small space between his and Lollipop Jones’ desk. She was on the phone with Heidi Stubbe. A recent client whose husband, Peter, was a werewolf. The two detectives had allowed the local dog catcher to take away the tranquilized wolfman, expecting Heidi to be able to retrieve her husband from the pound in the morning. Unfortunately, as they found out the following morning, Peter had been stolen. Only a few moments ago did Wilbur Talbot, the city dogcatcher, remember the name of the man that had stolen the lycanthropic hound: Dracula. The vampire lord had narrowly escaped the detectives only the week before the werewolf debacle.

Jones hung up the phone. “I don’t like this.” She announced to her partner. “Why would Dracula release him?”

Pecan stopped pacing for a moment. “Remember the gathering he talked about?” The broad shouldered behemoth asked. “What if it wasn’t vampires but monsters in general?”

“Lovely.” Jones said, removing the white stick of an expended sucker from her mouth.

As Pecan took another step, he heard the crinkle of cellophane as a new sugary orb took its place in her mouth. “He’s not a wolf right now.” Pecan stated. “So why is he important?”

“I don’t know, but we need to find out what old pale-face long-tooth is up to.” Lollipop stated.

She stood up and walked around her desk. “Lunch?” She asked.

Pecan nodded and followed his partner out the door. The giant man, dwarfed his friend but Lollipop’s size was not a comment on her capabilities. The graceful woman had been trained in combat by the greatest fighting force in history, a sect of warrior nuns known as the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist. She pulled her coat up tight around her as the brisk fall wind blew down the city streets. “Where would monsters hold a gathering?” Pecan asked in his rumbling voice.

“A cemetery.” Jones offered. “But they won’t be staying there until the shindig starts.”

“Some place to avoid the sun, where a wolfman won’t get bored.” Pecan mused.

Taking a seat at the corner diner, the detectives watched out the windows as people walked about. Most of them were heading to lunch from their offices in the large high rise buildings, a few of them were heading home with bags of groceries, candy packaging jutting from the top. “At least, they picked the right month for it.” Lollipop Jones mused, referring to the upcoming Halloween festivities.

“Where are they going?” Pecan Sandie asked, staring at a couple of teenagers.

Glancing at the clock, Lollipop saw that those kids should still be in school. “Must have ditched for the day.” She stated. “Probably going to Ted’s Video Game Arcade Emporium.”

Both detectives’ eyes widened. “The Arcade!” They concluded in unison.

Hurrying out into the street, the duo followed after the teenagers. Running to get on the transit bus to the outskirts of town.

Ted’s Video Game Arcade Emporium was a large castle like structure that stood in a small basin near the large hydroelectric dam that provided so much power for the city’s neighboring towns. The castle façade would provide a familiar setting for Dracula and lots of places to hide, whereas Peter Stubbe could either be held hostage within the myriad rooms or entertaining himself with the video games. Lollipop and Pecan were both kicking themselves for not having thought of it sooner. As the bus slowed to a stop at the bus bench in the middle of nowhere, the teens stood up to exit.

As they hopped down the steps to the grassy curb, Lollipop and Pecan followed behind at a distance. The youths did not pay any attention to the detectives tailing them on the gravel path. Looming ahead, the battlements of the castle were bright and cheery in the beaming sunlight of day. Approaching, the teens stopped and the unmistakable sound of complaining teenagers rose into the air. Using various phrases hip with the youth of today, the teens displayed their displeasure of the information contained on the hand painted sign. It read simply: closed until further notice.

Griping loudly, the adolescents walked back towards the bus stop. Lollipop and Pecan stood to the side as they passed. “I wouldn’t even bother.” One of them offered. “Place is closed.”

“Are you kidding me?” Another of them questioned the first. “Old people like that don’t play video games.”

“Old?” Lollipop stated angrily.

She started to go after the boys, when Pecan wrapped his large hand around her arm. “Not now.” He rumbled. “Later, if Dracula’s inside this is the time to strike.”

Ignoring the sign and chain drawn across the path to the gate, the detectives continued on until they stood before the large wooden doors. Lollipop knocked on the doors. Discarding a used sucker stick in the trash can, she grabbed another of the sweet confections from the pocket of her jacket. Inside, they heard sounds of movement. With a creak, one of the doors opened a crack. A short man stuck his head around the door. “Sorry, we’re closed.” He stated in a high pitched tone.

Before he could shut the door, Pecan wedged his foot into the gap. “We have a few questions for you?” Lollipop Jones explained.

Looking at the giant foot and the equally large body it was connected to, the man decided to answer a few questions. “Go on.” He invited.

“Is there anyone here by the name of Peter Stubbe?” Lollipop asked.

“No. Never heard of him.” The man answered, his eyes darting between the two detectives.

“Dracula?” Pecan growled at the man.

“Nope, not ringing any bells.” The man replied, growing more agitated and nervous. “I have to go.”

Pecan moved his foot and let the sweating little man shut the door. “He’s lying.” Lollipop stated.

“I know.” Pecan confirmed.

“Why do they have to be difficult?” She asked.

People say I’m difficult and sometimes that’s a badge of honor.” Pecan replied. He glanced at Lollipop and saw her curious stare. “Bill Murray said it.”

Yes you do Mr. Murray.

Yes you do Mr. Murray.

Do you have a book ‘The Tao of Murray’ or something?” She asked.

“I wish.” Pecan replied.

Raising his foot, Pecan Sandie slammed the heel of his boot into the wooden door. It splintered, but did not break. Confused, Pecan looked at Lollipop, who stood with the same look on her face. No door had ever stood up to Pecan Sandie before. “Hit it again.” Jones suggested.

Growling, the mountainous man reared back and slammed his foot back into the door, again and again. After the fifth kick, the door swung inward. Its finish had been reduced to a splintered ruin, but the iron bar that had been holding it in place was warped and unusable. Pecan stepped into the arcade, his hand moving to grab the battle axe strapped onto his back. Lollipop stepped in and noticed that the foyer lights were out, the glow around the doors in front of them showed multicolored lights from the next room. Carefully pulling on the handle, the door opened and before them was the arcade floor. A set of stone steps lead down to the pit where the games were kept. They were all on with vibrant flashing colors and loud sounds filling the large room.

In the center of the room, the games had been pushed aside and large equipment set up. A table with a cloth draped over it was set directly in the middle of the brightly lit area. “More power!” A high pitched voice shouted.

Walking down the steps, the duo started making their way towards the strange scene. Once they were able to get a clear line of sight, they could see that something was on the table, concealed under the cloth. Stepping into the cleared space, Pecan and Lollipop saw a woman with untamed white hair, in a lab coat, fiddling with dials on the panel before her. The little man that they had spoken to earlier was nearby, throwing sparking switches on a separate panel. He had a hump back and was moving with a pronounced limp.

Not sure what to make of the scene, Lollipop cleared her throat, loudly. The woman turned to them, her white hair stood up, framing her face. Pecan noticed that she was wearing a pair of welder’s goggles. “Who are you? What do you want?” The woman demanded.

“We’re looking for someone.” Lollipop explained.

“Frankenstein.” Pecan stated.

“Yes?” The woman responded.

Lollipop gave a questioning look to her over-muscled companion, then sparing a quick glance around, she put the same pieces together. “Sorry, my partner thinks you are Doctor Frankenstein and that you have a body cobbled together from different pieces, under that cloth.” Jones noted that the woman did not deny the statement. “Are you trying to wake up your homemade man?”

“Indeed I am.” The woman stated. “I am Doctor Henrietta Von Frankenstein and this is my assistant . . .”

“Igor?” Pecan offered.

“My name is Johnny.” The assistant interjected.

“Sorry.” Pecan apologized.

“If I had found you first, I would have been more than happy to have you on my table. You are the exact physical specimen that I need.” Frankenstein stated, giving Pecan a quick look over.

“Yeah.” Lollipop Jones said, drawing the word out. “Anyway, would you please stop resurrecting your tinker toy Tom and tell us if Dracula is here?”

“Here?” Frankenstein asked. “No, he is not here. As for my creation, he will wake and join his rightful place among his brethren. All will be settled once the gathering has begun.”

The detectives exchanged a knowing look, this was the second time they had heard of the gathering and the wolfman’s wife had mentioned that he had an important meeting. “You’re coming with us.” Lollipop stated.

“Shut it down.” Pecan demanded.

“Too late!” Johnny shouted, pointing.

The shape under the sheet was moving. “It’s alive, it’s alive!” Frankenstein shouted, laughing maniacally because she wanted to be as cliché as possible.

Flipping out the battle axe, Pecan smashed the nearest panels, sending spark scattering about as the machines began to increase their output. “What have you done?” Frankenstein demanded.

“Stopped you.” Pecan replied.

“Really?” Frankenstein asked, incredulously. “Is that how you solve problems, by smashing other people’s things? Besides, all you’ve done is endangered the nearby area.”

“What did he do?” Lollipop asked.

“We were using power from the hydroelectric facility within the dam, but since smash-happy-boy decided to break the controls. we can’t shut it down. The generators will overload and blow up the dam.” The demented doctor explained.

“Oops.” Pecan said.

The creature sat up and the sheet fell away. Sitting on the table was a patchwork man, who resembled the Frankenstein’s monster of old (but for reasons of copyright did not look like Boris Karloff’s creature portrayal). A flatish head with stitches keeping the skin closed over a misshapen skull, with an outlet plug running into his neck. Reaching up, the creature used a misshapen hand to pull the three pronged extension cord form its throat.

He looked like this, only without the pumpkin.

He looked like this, only without the pumpkin.

“Johnny get these intruders out of here.” Frankenstein ordered.

“Coming.” Johnny answered. “All right folks, shows over. We need to let mommy and baby have some time alone.”

The assistant tried to shoo the detectives away. Pecan wrapped his hand on Johnny’s head, lifted the small man up, and set him back down out of the way. “Okay, we’re doing this the hard way.” The diminutive man stated.

He drew back to punch Pecan in the back of the knee. As his fist started forward, Lollipop grabbed his hand and spun him around to face her. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” She stated, slapping Johnny in the face.

He placed a hand on his face, tears glimmering in his eyes. Pecan did not see this as he walked towards the patchwork man. “It’s okay.” Frankenstein was cooing to its creation. “Everything is going to be fine.”

The creature let out an unintelligible sputter of shouts and gibberish. Pecan Sandie grunted in response. Turning its head on unfamiliar neck muscles, the creature saw the large man approaching and growled. “You leave him alone.” Frankenstein demanded.

“Fine, can you calm him down?” Pecan requested, as he stopped approaching.

“Of course.” The doctor offered, taking a small silver rectangle from her pocket. “I’ll just hypnotize him.”

She opened the lid of a metal lighter. The creature’s eyes widened as he watched her strike the flint and a small jut of flame blazed from the top. “Now just watch. . .” Frankenstein started.

The creature interrupted her with a frenzied shout and swatted the flame from her hand. Pecan face palmed. “Idiot!” He stated.

Swinging wildly, the creature knocked the doctor aside, bouncing her off a nearby game of Frogger. Standing up, the man-made monster started walking towards Pecan, still shouting. Closing up his battle axe, Pecan strapped it across his back and popped his knuckles.

“This is bad.” Johnny stated. “I’ve got to get to the backup plan.”

Turning, the small man fled away, crawling up the machines and leaping onto one of the overhanging lights. “Really?” Lollipop asked, wondering why he had announced a backup plan outloud.

Running along the floor, she followed as the lab assistant swung along the lights, Tarzan style. Climbing the stairs, she waited as the assistant dropped to the ground.

Pictured: Tarzan style.

Pictured: Tarzan style.

Upon seeing the trench coat wearing figure, he scooped up a wrench from nearby and swung it at Lollipop. She ducked under the swing and quickly disarmed the man. “If you don’t stop, I’m going to have to get mean.” She warned.

Grabbing up a mallet nearby, he attacked once again. Who keeps leaving these tools lying around? Lollipop wondered, as she again evaded the attack.

Pecan Sandie grappled with the oddly shaped humanoid. It was almost as broad as Pecan and nearly as tall. What had surprised the detective was that the creature was just as strong. So the two stood in the middle of the floor, gripping hands and trying to force the other back. Gritting his teeth, Pecan timed his move just right. The big man stopped resisting and as the creature stumbled forward, Pecan swung to the side and performed a hip throw, that sent the patchwork man sprawling on the ground. Howling, the creature pushed up and rushed towards Pecan. This time he wrapped his arms around Pecan and tackled him.

Holding on, Pecan was able to flip the creature over and off of him. This did nothing to dissuade the stitch covered man from attacking again. As Pecan went down again, the creature anticipated the toss and avoided the move. It wrapped its hands around Pecan’s throat and squeezed. The muscular behemoth of a detective, flexed his neck muscles and prevented his attacked from choking off his air flow.

Lollipop was getting aggravated with Johnny. After the hammer, he had found several other tools to attack her with. Realizing that Johnny was just too much trouble to keep toying with, Lollipop prepared to deliver the crippling chop to the back, which would incapacitate the assistant. Dropping under another attack, she hopped up and landed the chop, right on top of Johnny’s hump. His back righted itself instantly, and he was taller and his limp was gone. Staring in amazement, Johnny turned around to Lollipop. “What happened?” He asked. Looking in a mirror, Johnny marveled at his reflection. “I’m gorgeous!”

Lollipop did have to admit, with his spine straightened out his face had righted itself. Taller and with a well chiseled face, Johnny dropped the weapon in his hand. “I don’t need this job. I’m going to be a model.” He announced. “Hey Doc, I quit.”

Johnny started to walk out and turned back to Lollipop, she expected an attempt to strike her. Instead, he grabbed her hand, dipped her and planted a kiss on her. “Thank you.” Johnny said, righting the detective.

He sauntered out, leaving Lollipop standing, blushing, as her partner battled a manmade monster.

Henrietta was coming around, she started to set up. “Stop!” She shouted.

Both the creature and Pecan stopped their attempts to destroy each other and stared at the dazed scientist. “The dam, we must flee. Soon it will explode.”

Rolling off of Pecan, the patchwork man picked up its creator, cradling the woman in its arms. Lollipop heard the first of the explosions. It was a muffled sound, but she knew it would grow louder. “Too late!” She shouted. “Get to higher ground.”

Rushing towards the stairs that climbed into the battlement, Lollipop trusted that her partner was right behind her, as he always had been. As she heard the dam collapse and the waters rush forward, Lollipop came out on the walkway at the top of the battlements. The waters hit the castle and the bricks and mortar gave way. As the battlement shifted, but did not fall, Lollipop was forced to grab onto the stone walls for support. When the initial shifting ceased, Lollipop stated to her partner. “Wild ride, right Pecan?” She asked.

Looking about, she could not see his giant form on the walkway. Stepping back into the tower, she walked down until she could see the rising water. Running back to the walkway, Lollipop looked over the fencing at the frothing waters below. “Pecan Sandie!” She shouted.

“What?” Her partner asked.

Leaning over, Lollipop saw Pecan gripping onto the tower as he slowly climbed his way up. After several minutes, he was at a place where he could climb onto the walkway with Lollipop. “What happened?” She asked.

Exhaling hard, Pecan caught his breath before answering. “Was at the bottom of the steps when the waters broke in. So I just held onto the wall until I could climb up.” He stated.

“And the creature?” She asked.

Pecan shrugged. “It was behind me.” He stated.

From the top of a nearby hill, a blue masked man watched Pecan through a pair of binoculars. He made note of what he had seen and prepared, for his time would be soon at hand.

As the flood water pushed out, it eventually met up with a river that ran on the outskirts of the city, dumping most of its rampage into the water and causing a slight sewage overflow in some places. Peter Stubbe, a werewolf, stood watching as two figures washed up on the side of the river. He did not know the two beings that arrived, but he was aware of what they represented. Frankenstein was coughing up the water that she had swallowed as the creature stood up and shook itself off. Both of the drenched figures stared at Stubbe. “I take it that you are currently in need of residence.” He stated.

“Did he send you?” Frankenstein asked.

“Of course.” Stubbe replied, showing the doctor a signet ring bearing the crest of Dracula.

“Very well.” Frankenstein stated. “Come along my boy.”

The patchwork man lumbered behind as Peter Stubbe and Dr. Henrietta Frankenstein climbed into the cab of a truck. Stubbe tossed a jacket to the creature. “Put that on and climb in the back.” He instructed.

The man-made ma looked to Henrietta, she nodded, and he obeyed. “Aren’t you curious as to what happened?” Frankenstein asked the wolfman.

“Let me guess, a small woman and large man showed up.” Stubbe stated.

“Indeed.” Henrietta confirmed.

“Yes, they’ve been quite the nuisance, but they will not stop the gathering.” Stubbe replied.

The End?

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Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs The Wolfman

Continuing our Halloween themed stories, and as a followup to our Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs. Dracula, here we have our dynamic detectives confronting another of the classic monsters.   So enjoy as

Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs. The Wolfman

Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie were standing in their office staring at the map on the wall. “I can’t believe, nothing.” Lollipop complained.

Yeah weird.” Pecan agreed. “He must’ve stashed some.”

How?” Lollipop asked. “No hospitals or blood banks have reported anything.”

I know.” Pecan rumbled in his gravelly voice. “But no victims and no new missing persons reports.”

I don’t like Dracula running around in our town. And he talked about a gathering.” Jones said. “When? And a gathering of what?”

Pecan shrugged. “Doesn’t look like we have an influx of bloodsuckers.”

No it doesn’t.” Lollipop agreed.

The office door opened. Stepping away from the map, the detectives looked at the hopeful client. Standing in front of them was a slender woman in a blue dress with a fur wrap over her shoulders. Her delicate hands tightly clutched a small purse in front of her. “Are you the detectives?” She asked, looking at the duo.

It wasn’t the first time anyone had inquired. Lollipop Jones was a lithe figure wearing a trench coat and hat, a white sucker stick perpetually jutting from her mouth. Pecan Sandie was a hulking mountain of muscle. Sharing a knowing glance, the detectives nodded to the woman. “Please have a seat.” Lollipop said, sitting down behind her desk.

Pecan leaned against the wall, as the woman sat down in the offered chair. “I need help.” The woman started.

Okay.” Lollipop started. “What’s your name?”

Heidi.” The woman stated. “Heidi Stubbe, I’ve only been here for four months and I have a problem.”

Gangs?” Pecan asked.

No, nothing like that.” Heidi said, dismissing the assumption. “It’s my husband, Peter.” She said, taking a handkerchief from her purse.

What’s going on with Peter?” Lollipop asked.

I can’t find him.” Heidi said, breaking down into tears. “We went out for a walk last night and it was almost dark. Peter sent me on to the house, said he’d be along shortly.”

He never came home.” Pecan stated.

Heidi nodded. “I went back over the trail we walked and this was all I could find.”

Heidi dropped a shredded, stained rag on the desk. Lollipop poked at it with a pen. “A rag?” Pecan asked, confused.

No.” Heidi said breaking out into a sobbing fit. “It’s Peter’s shirt.”

Staring at the stains, the detectives made out the faint hint of crimson underneath the mud. The shirt had been bloodied. “This is really a matter for the police.” Lollipop stated.

I tried that, they said they can’t help me.” The woman responded, crying harder.

Lollipop looked over at Pecan. The big man just shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.” Lollipop started, turning back to their new client. “We’ll see what we can do.”

Really?” Heidi asked, her voice filled with hope, sunshine, and rainbows (you know all that bright sunny day stuff).

Pecan and Lollipop nodded. “Thank you.” Heidi exclaimed. The woman dropped a small bag with tufts of fur and a white chunk of plaster onto the desk. “I almost forgot, I found these with the shirt.” She explained.

Thanks.” Pecan said, lifting the bag from the table to examine the contents.

We’ll be in touch as soon as we know something Mrs. Stubbe.” Lollipop stated, standing up, and showing Heidi out of the office.

Shutting the door behind the woman and turning around, Jones saw Pecan Sandie removed some of the tufts from the bag and sniff it. He stopped and contemplated it for a moment and then licked the fur. “You are worse than a kid. You don’t have to put everything in your mouth.” She scalded her partner.

Werewolf.” Pecan said in response.

What?” Lollipop asked.

This fur is from a werewolf.” Pecan explained.

I don't know what's going on, but this picture is awesome.  It has a werewolf and some sort of rabbit samurai.  AWESOME!

I don’t know what’s going on, but this picture is awesome. It has a werewolf and some sort of rabbit samurai. And those chickens in the back are freaked out!

How can you tell?” Jones asked. She had undergone a lot of training when she was raised by the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, a sect of warrior nuns, but nothing that would allow her to discern werewolf fur from taste.

It’s wolf fur with a hint of shampoo.” Sandie explained.

Okay.” Lollipop said, skeptically.

Taking the plaster hunk, she flipped it over. Embedded in the substance was a cast of a footprint. It was clearly a combination of a man’s footprint mixed that of a wolf. “Plus, last night was the first full moon.” Pecan stated.

So we’re supposed to call Heidi and tell her that her husband was eaten by a werewolf?” Lollipop asked. “I don’t think that’s going to go over too well.”

Maybe her husband is the werewolf.” Pecan offered.

Jones stood and stared at her partner. “Do you think the police will have a werewolf file?” She asked. “I mean if they’ve been her for four months and he’s a werewolf, wouldn’t someone have seen it by now.”

No, police won’t have that.” Pecan agreed. “But animal control will.”

A smile broke on Pecan’s chiseled face. Lollipop rolled her eyes and headed out the door.

The animal control office also served as the pound for the area. They were greeted by the city dog catcher Milton Talbot, who was sitting behind a small desk. “You youngsters looking to take home a puppy?” He asked, squinting through the incredibly thick lenses at the duo.

No.” Lollipop stated, it was common knowledge that Milton was practically blind.

You have any weird dog sightings?” Pecan asked.

The older man just chuckled. “Oh yeah.” He said, opening a file cabinet drawer beside him.

Taking a folder that was at least an inch thick from the drawer, he sat it on the desk. “Every strange and unidentifiable animal report we’ve gotten recently.”

May we?” Lollipop asked, reaching for the file.

Help yourself, just put it back on my desk when you’re done.” Milton stated. “I’ve got to go make the rounds.”

The civil servant started whistling an oddly familiar tune as he left. The detectives watched the man climb into the truck with cages built into the back. With Milton pulling away, they started to leaf through the reports. A lot of citizens had been reporting a weird upright “dog thing.” Checking the dates on the earliest reports, Pecan looked at his partner. “They started four months ago.” He confirmed.

On the full moon?” Lollipop asked.

Pecan shrugged and grabbed the calendar from off the wall. Fortunately for them, it showed the moon’s phases on the different nights of the month. After a quick moment, Pecan confirmed that the dates coincided with the full moon. “Great, first Dracula, and now a werewolf.” Lollipop lamented.

I have a book for this.” Pecan stated.

Back at their office, Lollipop was calling around, searching for any news on a strangely disheveled man. Pecan was hunkered behind a large old book. Lollipop hung up the phone. “Nothing.” She said. “No one matching Peter’s description has shown up anywhere.”

It says here that werewolves are adept at blending in and hiding their existence. The only way to stop one is with a silver bullet.” Pecan explained.

Again with your books. You know everyone knows how to kill a werewolf.” Jones said. “Besides, neither of us have a gun.”

My axe blade is a fifth silver.” Pecan added.

Well that’s a start.” Lollipop conceded. “So where should we start looking?”

Dog parks.” Pecan stated.

Lollipop glared at the behemoth behind his book. “Fine.” She stated, feeling foolish for thinking it might work.

The city had several prominent dog parks. Arriving at the first park, Pecan and Lollipop walked along the fence, looking for a clue. “What are we looking for?” Lollipop asked.

Pecan shrugged. “Something that doesn’t belong.”

Choosing not to respond to the obvious statement, Lollipop continued moving along the perimeter. “Wait.” Pecan said.

Turning, Lollipop saw the big man kneel down next to a bush. “He was here.” Sandie informed his partner.

What did you find?” Lollipop asked.

Half eaten box of dog biscuits.” Pecan said.

We are at a dog park, of course someone brought dog biscuits.” Lollipop said, trying to explain to her friend why this may not be a clue.

But dogs don’t normally eat them like this.” Pecan responded. Lifting up the box, Jones could see that the top of it had been bitten off and most of the contents eaten.

Might be a clue after all.” Lollipop said. “So what now?”

We set a trap.” Pecan stated, standing up.

Standing outside of the small suburban home, Lollipop and Pecan waited. “Are you sure about this?” Lollipop asked, her finger hovering above the doorbell.

Positive.” Pecan confirmed.

Ringing the doorbell, the duo waited as they heard sounds of movement inside the house. Heidi opened the door. Her blue dress had been traded in for a pink jumpsuit. “Did you find Peter?” She asked.

Not yet.” Pecan informed the woman.

Do you and your husband spend a lot of time together around the middle of the month?” Lollipop asked.

No, he normally has to take a business trip for about a week.” Heidi explained, clearly confused.

But not this month?” Jones asked.

No, he said his meeting was going to be in town. It’s supposed to be a big to do that he can’t miss, meeting some kind of foreign big wig.” Heidi explained. “You don’t think that has anything to do with this do you?”

Do you know your husband is a werewolf?” Pecan asked, bluntly.

The man had a direct approach that seemed to work for him. Heidi looked at the large man with a strange look. “Is he serious?” She asked Lollipop.

Yes, he is.” Jones confirmed.

No.” Heidi stated. “I mean I knew he had some weird quirks, but so do I. I mean that’s marriage right, you just love the other person no matter what.”

Yeah but three to four nights out of the month, he’s not a person.” Lollipop stated.

Honey, I know women who say the same thing about their husbands.” Heidi whispered to the female detective. “So you think werewolf thing is why he hasn’t come home yet?”

Maybe.” Pecan stated.

It explains his love of dog treats.” Heidi stated. She noticed the two detectives just staring at her. “What? I said he had some quirks.”

Do you happen to have any on hand?” Pecan asked.

Lord yes, he always keeps tons of them around.” Heidi said, closing the door.

She returned a moment later, carrying two boxes of the treats. “Same brand as in the park.” Lollipop confirmed.

We need to keep these.” Pecan stated.

Why?” Heidi asked.

We’re setting a trap for Peter.” Lollipop explained.

Okay. You do me a favor when you see him, tell him that I don’t care if he’s a weredog or whatever, just as long as he’s house broken.” Heidi said, smiling.

Lollipop gave a strained smile to the woman. Pecan just walked off carrying the dog treats. Following her partner, off the manicured lawn, Lollipop and Pecan went over their plan again. “So he’s in the woods.” Lollipop stated.

Yep.” Pecan said. “Been there once he turned human again.”

All right. We’ve only got a few hours before moonrise.” Lollipop stated. “How’d you know he’d been at the dog park?”

He’s part dog.” Pecan explained. “Went where he could smell others, probably wanted to sniff some butts or something. Wish we had a Frisbee.”

Lollipop gave her partner a sideways glance. “I get it, but I think we have a tennis ball.” Lollipop stated. “It’ll have to do.”

Pecan nodded, as the detectives headed towards the forested nature trail where Peter Stubbe’s shirt had been found.

Standing in the darkened woods with the moon about to rise, Lollipop stared around the pathway again. Piled in the center of the trail were the contents of two boxes of dog biscuits. “Are we sure this will work?” She asked Pecan.

Positive.” He confirmed. “Bill Murray used the same technique to catch the groundhog from Groundhog’s Day. Later he taught it how to drive.”

Unfortunately, it had terrible road rage.

Unfortunately, it had terrible road rage.

Lollipop Jones stared at the mountain of muscle beside her. She knew her partner’s obsession with the iconic actor was incredibly fervent, so she decided not to question his knowledge. “How long do you think it’ll take for the big hairy menace to arrive?” Lollipop asked.

As the moon rose into the sky, a strangely human sounding howl erupted in the forest. “Not long.” Pecan answered.

The duo listened as twigs snapped and brushes rustled headed in a line for their position. Bursting from the trees, a wolfman stepped into the trail. He snarled at the detectives but turned towards the pile of treats nearby. Glancing back at the detectives, the mythical beast knelt at the food and started to shovel large handfuls of the treats into it mouth. The razor sharp teeth made quick work of the baked goodies. “He’s almost done.” Pecan commented, reaching back to his partner.

Lollipop handed the green fuzzy ball to Pecan. The treats were gone, all that remained was a torn up patch of dead leaves and soil on the trail. Growling, the werewolf turned towards its next target. Pecan held the ball out in front of him. “Who wants the ball?” He asked in an exaggerated tone. “Who wants this ball? Do you want this ball?”

The wolfman’s ears popped up and his tongue lolled out the side of his mouth. An excited whine escaped from its throat. “Go get it.” The hulking detective said, tossing the ball down the trail.

Racing off on all fours, the beast grabbed the ball in its jaws and turned to rush back. It was halfway back to the mismatched detectives, when it stopped. Shaking its head, it started to growl. “What’s wrong?” Lollipop asked.

Pecan shrugged. “I think it thinks we’re mocking it.”

Biting down, the tennis ball exploded in the werewolf’s mouth. “Plan B.” Pecan rumbled as he grabbed his axe from his back. “Remember, keep back, my book said that one bite and you’ll become a werewolf too.”

Everyone knows that.” Lollipop snapped, hurling the remaining two tennis balls at the werewolf.

Jones’ throws were as accurate as a Roger Federer serve, if Roger Federer played in some weird tennis association with monsters. The first ball slammed into the wolfman’s snout and the other popped off of his throat. Wrapping its hands around its snout, the werewolf yipped and tried to shake off the ball attack. Flicking the battle axe to its full length, Pecan prepared to face the monster. Lollipop stood behind her partner, waiting. “I don’t know why I can’t take this one.” She stated annoyed.

Is Roger Federer supposed to be scary, if not please explains this picture.

Is Roger Federer supposed to be scary?  If not please explains this picture.

Werewolves can heal any wounds except those caused by silver.” Pecan explained. “It’s in my. . .”

Book, yeah I know you’ve been quite the literary sort lately.” Lollipop interrupted, finishing the statement.

Shaking off the annoyance in its nose, the furry creature stood up and howled. Bearing its fangs, the creature rushed the awaiting axe wielding man. Pecan bellowed a war cry and prepared to take a swing. The wolfman stumbled mid rush and turned around. A red tipped dart was lodged firmly in the creature’s rear. “That’ll keep the fellow from being so agitated.” Milton Talbot said, stepping from the woods, a rifle in his hands.

The werewolf was more docile. Picking the long animal control pole up, the dogcatcher slipped the cable over the mythic beasts neck and tightened it to keep the creature out of striking distance. Bearing its teeth, the werewolf snapped at the man. “Oh, he’s a bitey one.” Milton observed. “Well, we’ll get him in the truck and he’ll be taking a nap in a few minutes.”

Lollipop and Pecan followed the dog catcher out of the trail to where the large white animal control vehicle was waiting. The other occupants were yipping and baying from their enclosures. Before the duo could act, Milton opened a large cage in the back, and used the pole to guide the werewolf into the container. Once inside the other animals in the surrounding cages immediately silenced themselves. “You kids have a nice night.” Milton said climbing into the truck and driving off.

What do we tell Mrs. Stubbes?” Pecan asked.

We tell her to go get her husband at the pound in the morning.” Lollipop responded. “Come on, we’ve got a vampire count to catch.”

Milton parked the truck in the animal control’s lot. He started unloading the smaller cages and taking their occupants to the pens in the rear of the facility. As he came out to get the big one, he saw a pale man in a fancy suit, kneeling down, talking to the animal. “I’d be careful fella.” Milton cautioned.

He will not harm me.” The man said.

His voice was accented, but Milton could not tell from where exactly. “Oh, is he yours?”

In a manner of speaking.” The man answered. “Will you release him?”

Sure, but first we need you to come fill out some paperwork and there’ll be a small fine.” Milton explained. “Nothing too bad, but you know. Big dog like that, you’ve got to keep him on a leash.”

The man stared hard into Milton’s eyes. “You do not need me to complete any paperwork.” He stated. “You will not make mention of my friend here.”

Sorry sir, but rules is rules.” Milton responded.

Can you not see me?” The man asked. “This is happening more and more to me.”

Sorry mister, I can make out general shapes, but I can’t make out a lot of details.” Milton explained.

Fine, I’ll fill out the form.” The man stated exasperated.

What’s your name?” Milton asked.

Dracula.” His guest stated.

Huh.” Milton said, turning around.

Dracula hit Milton on the back of the head, sending the dog catcher falling to the ground, out cold. “Civil servants, bah! Give me a hundred Van Helsings instead.” The vampire lamented.

Unlocking the cage, Dracula helped the wolfman from his confines. “You’ve really got to be careful Peter. This close to our gathering, you cannot be caught.” Dracula chided his fellow monster.

From the surrounding trees, a man in a blue mask watched, silently observing these creatures of the night. A red cape fluttering from his shoulders.

The End?

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Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs. Dracula

With October here and Halloween fast approaching, I thought I’d get my two favorite detectives into the action.  Now for the story you’ve been waiting for:

Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs. Dracula

The air held a good crisp feel to it. Leaves, which had flaunted their healthy green in the previous months, were beginning to change to shades of yellow and red. The grass was yellowing on the lawns and the invasion of pumpkin spice had begun. Not like an INVASION, invasion, but you know it just starts appearing everywhere that you go, like a stalker. This was the way the city normally welcomed fall, and this year was no different. Lollipop Jones pulled her trench coat tight around her and held onto her hat as a cool breeze pulled the few falling leaves along its current. Pecan Sandie was walking behind her, the man, a large mountain of muscle, did not feel the cold. His wardrobe did not change throughout the year. Lollipop always wore her trench coat and hat, and could easily be spotted by the white sucker stick jutting from her mouth.

The two appeared an odd matched couple. A lithe female in a long coat and a juggernaut of a man in a short sleeved shirt. It was daybreak and the sun was filtering in through the skyscrapers. This was not a normal morning for the detecting duo. Jones had received a phone call from the police asking for their help. Ever the good citizen, the detective had called her partner and they were now on their way to meet at the scene of a crime.

The city’s historical museum was one of the highlights for tourists to see when visiting. This morning though, it was marked by yellow police tape and the parking lot was filled with flashing blue lights. “Right this way.” An officer called waving to the detectives.

Pecan stepped over the tape, while Lollipop ducked under it. Her movements were smooth and well controlled, a result of her being raised by the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist. The officer led the two into the museum and past the skeleton of an ancient mummy that greeted the patrons. The plaque above the head read: Aztec Mummy and contained other information. Lollipop and the officer walked past the bandaged bundle in the glass. Pecan studied the dried face when he saw a brightly colored reflection in the glass. Spinning around, he caught sight of a red cape dashing away. “Hey, you coming?” Lollipop called returning to the foyer.

Pecan turned and followed after her. “So what did you see?” She asked her partner.

Luchador.” The big man replied.

Okay.” Lollipop said, not sure how else to respond to the information.

Walking through a few exhibits, they saw the bright lights of the forensics’ team. Laying in the middle of the brightly illuminated area was a man. He was dressed in a night watchman’s uniform. Police chief, Alyssandra Mendez, stood up and greeted the detectives. “Jones, Sandie, thanks for coming on such short notice.” She said in a crisp professional manner.

Lollipop thought that was odd, given the informal relationship that they had with the local law enforcement. Scanning the people, Jones spotted a reporter lurking on the fringe with a few other officers. “Want us to get rid of the snoop for you?” Lollipop asked.

Unfortunately, I can’t.” Alyssandra whispered. “The Mayor is having her follow me for a write up in the local paper.”

Gotcha.” Lollipop replied. “So what’s the rundown?”

Well, we’re at a loss.” The chief replied quietly, then raised her voice as she started to give the other details of the scene. “Our people were notified of a break in this morning when the front doors security sensor was tripped. Upon arriving here, we found the museum’s night watchman, Thomas Wilborne, as you see him. So far, we can find no sign of forced entry or cause of death. What we do know is that he’s lost a lot of blood, but not here.”

Pecan scanned the exhibit that they were standing in. “This new?” He asked.

I’m not sure.” Alyssandra replied. “Doctor Hermis?”

Yes.” A small pudgy man in a tweed jacket with wire rimmed glasses said as he stepped forward.

Pecan repeated his question. “Oh yes. It is quite recent, I believe we put the final touches on it just yesterday afternoon.” He informed them.

Anything else?” Alyssandra asked, looking at the detectives.

Not for right now.” Lollipop answered, as her partner began to wander over to the different articles in the exhibit.

Following beside him, Jones was examining the floor and cases for signs of tampering. “A-ha!” She proclaimed.

Pecan stopped and turned to his partner. Pointing, Lollipop shared her discovery. One of the larger cases had been tampered with. Inside it was a large crate. “What is this?” She whispered to Pecan.

A big box.” He responded.

Thank you Doctor Obvious.” She groaned. “But what’s so special about it?”

Bending over, Pecan read the plaque underneath the display. He quickly righted himself and stepped away from the gathered police. Lollipop could tell by the slight tremble in his hands, that the big guy was excited. Stepping over to her partner, Lollipop gave him a strange look. “Okay, I haven’t seen you this excited since that time you thought you saw Bill Murray.” She stated.

It was Brian Doyle Murray, so honest mistake.” Pecan grumbled. “This is huge. That crate came from a burned down estate in England, Whitby to be exact. And it happens to bear the symbol of an old Transylvanian nobleman.”

An honest mistake.

An honest mistake.


No freaking way.” Jones stated her disbelief.

It makes sense. Can’t cross the ocean without help, hangs out in a crate of soil and just waits until they unpack him. And the night watchman, it all fits!” Pecan stated.

I know, but, really?”

Looks like it.” Pecan swallowed hard. “Dracula is our killer” Pecan replied.

Over hearing their conversation, Chief Mendez approached the duo. “What do you have?” The chief asked.

You aren’t going to believe this, but we think that the alarm went off because someone left, not because someone broke in. Also, please have the coroner check Thomas for two puncture marks in his throat.” Lollipop pulled the sucker from her mouth and hesitated a moment. “We believe that Count Vlad Tepes, A-K-A Dracula, who is a century old vampire was brought into the museum through the crate in the disturbed case and is now roaming free.”

Jones put the sucker back in her mouth and closed her eyes, expecting to be met with a wave of disbelief by the law officer. It was tough for Lollipop to not be surprised when she heard Alyssandra say: “You guys handle it, I’ll do what I can.”

Really?” Pecan asked, his confused look mirrored the way Jones felt.

You guys brought in gold stealing leprechauns, I’m not going to just swallow the entire vampire thing, but I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.” She explained. “Just don’t make me look bad.”

Yes ma’am.” Pecan said with a small salute.

As the chief walked away, the detectives showed themselves out of the museum.

Back at their office, Lollipop was writing down possible lairs for the sanguine count. Pecan sat behind his desk with several old leather bound volumes opened in front of him. “According to these books, vampires can’t go out in sunlight. So he’ll be resting right now.” He said.

Everybody knows that.” Lollipop said, looking up annoyed. “Holy water, garlic, stakes through the heart, and crosses; it’s everywhere, books, movies, anything with a vampire has that stuff.”

Says they fear holy symbols.” Pecan continued, ignoring his partner.

With a frustrated sound, Jones went back to her task. The list of possible hiding places was extensive. Marking each of the locations on a map, Lollipop pinned the map onto the wall. “Okay, here are the most likely places for Drac to stay.” She stated.

Pecan looked up from his books and studied the map. While the behemoth was looking over it, Jones retrieved a sucker from her pocket and put the bulb in her mouth. “Any questions?” She asked.

Any of these near blood banks or hospitals?” He asked.

Several of them.” She responded.

We should check those first. According to my research, vampires need blood nightly.” Pecan stated.

Jones glared at the man. “Fine. We’ll check those first.” She agreed.

The sun was getting low as they checked the fourth spot on Lollipop’s list. So far they had not found anything in their pursuit of the fiend. This place seemed different though. An abandoned meat packing plant, the place had an aura about it that was slightly unsettling. Nothing like that could bother the stalwart detectives though, their aura of awesomeness was stronger than that of the old building.

Immediately, the detectives noticed the lack of rodents. All the other buildings that they had been in were crawling with the furry creatures, but this one, where they should have been more abundant, was empty. “I think this may be the place.” Lollipop whispered.

Pecan nodded his agreement as he stepped cautiously across the room. The large man had his familiar flip out battle axe strapped to his back, and had supplemented his arsenal with multiple wooden stakes strapped to his legs and arms. A string of garlic hung around his neck and a liter cola bottle of holy water hung on his belt. Jones thought it was a bit too much precaution for one vampire. Even though she was carrying a bulb of garlic in each of her coat’s pockets. “So what’s our plan?” She asked.

Find him, stake him, and go home.” Pecan answered.

I’ve always admired how uncomplicated your plans are.” Jones replied, rolling her eyes. “We should probably head down into the basement.”

Searching the building, Pecan and Lollipop could not find a door that led to the lower level of the building. “I know I saw a basement on the blue prints.” She said. “Pecan?”

With a savage grin, the juggernaut of justice raised his massive boot and planted it firmly into the floor. The boards gave way with a sharp crack. Reaching down with his massive hands, Pecan jerked several of the boards up. His hands could crush the nut of his namesake in their grips, the boards did not stand a chance. “Stand back.” Jones said as she dropped off into the darkness below.

The putrid smell of blood was thick down here, it mingled with the sweet taste of the cinnamon apple sucker in her mouth. As her eyes began to adjust, she could make out several shapes standing out against the darkness. “Light.” Sandie said, from above her.

A moment later, several glow sticks were thrown about the room. There eerie green glow added to the growing discomfort that the deadly detective felt. The shapes were clearly boxes, combined with the light of the phosphorescent chemicals, there were still plenty of shadows for some unseen menace to hide in. Lollipop Jones stepped away from the hole above her. She heard the drop as her partner’s considerable bulk fell down behind her. Taking a flashlight from her coat pocket, Lollipop turned on the bright beam to play among the different boxes surrounding them. “Why would boxes still be down here?” She asked.

Dirt.” Pecan said, pointing towards the floor.

Looking down, Jones saw the fine particles of soil coming from one of the corners of the boxes. “How much longer do we have before suns . . .” she started to ask, when the alarm on Pecan’s watch went off, signaling the setting of the sun.

All around them, the boxes started to creak as lids began to rise. “How did he get so many so fast?” Pecan asked.

From behind them came a regal laugh, it was a rich sound that had a strangely hollow quality. “You are quite a large fellow with much blood for my children.” The voice taunted.

Turning, Lollipop’s flashlight fell on a regal man dressed in a fine suit, his hair coming to a widow’s peak above a creased brow. A medallion of gold with a large red ruby stood just underneath his collar. Lollipop stifled a laugh. “You find this amusing?” The vampire lord demanded.

Oh jeez, he’s actually wearing the cape.” She said, chuckling.

A rumbling sound came from Pecan Sandie as well, the confused Dracula registered it shortly as a laugh. “Do you know who you face?” He shouted, angered at their insolence.

Yeah.” Pecan admitted. “He looks just like the costumes.”

This costume, only taller.

This costume, only taller.


I bet he vants to suck our blood.” Jones joked.

I don’t talk like that.” Dracula snarled.

Wiping a tear from her eye, Lollipop Jones looked around and noticed that there were at least twenty other vampires surrounding them. Her laughter gradually faded. “Ah, now I see the insolent whelp recognizes the danger.” The vampire count gloated.

Yeah, yeah.” Lollipop said, brushing aside the menacing comment. “So how did you get all these folks so quick? You’ve only been in the city for a day.”

My brides came before to prepare the way.” Dracula explained, motioning to three pale women, wearing white burial gowns.

Right, guess we should’ve thought about that.” Jones commented, nudging Pecan’s arm.

Dracula loves to travel with the ladies!

Dracula loves to travel with the ladies!


Mortal fool, do you not know that by coming here you have forfeited your lives?” Dracula asked, he was clearly perplexed by these mortals, who seemed so unaffected by his coven.

You forfeited your existence when we came here.” Pecan grumbled, pulling the wooden handle from his back.

With a flick of his wrist the battle axe unfolded and proved a formidable site in the hands of the giant. “Feed my children, teach those who would stop the gathering.” Dracula commanded.

His brides and the other lesser vampires rushed the intrepid duo. Standing back to back, Lollipop and Pecan prepared to meet the rushing horde. Stilling herself, Jones prepared. When the first vampire was within reach, she delivered the Uber-Death Punch, the ultimate technique of the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist. Every bone in the vampire’s body atomized and it fell to the floor a boneless heap. With a defiant roar, Pecan lunged forward swinging his axe. Two lesser vampires lost their heads to his attack. As their headless compatriots turned to dust, the others cleared away from the axe wielding behemoth.

From his position atop a box, Dracula applauded. “Very good.” He taunted them. “A shame that you will not be so successful with the others.”

Cautiously, the vampires approached the detectives. They were now more aware of the skill of their opponents. The boneless vampire was once more standing and moving in with his fellow undead flunkies. “Oh come on!” Lollipop said, seeing the man.

Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. I read that vampires can regenerate from most wounds.” Pecan said over his shoulder.

Everybody knows that, you aren’t saying anything useful.” Jones said, her frustration clear on her voice.

Use the garlic.” Pecan offered.

Okay, that might be useful.” Lollipop apologized.

Taking the bulbs of garlic from her pockets and holding them in her hand, Jones waited as the vampires moved with a stillness that no human could mimic. Even with her warrior nun controlled muscles, Lollipop could not move so deftly. There was a slight change of pressure in the air, and Lollipop waited as the vampires rushed forward. Lashing out with two open handed blows, she met the vampires’ attack. The force of her blow cracked the sternum, inserting the garlic inside their bodies. Seconds later, the ashes of the vampires lay on the ground, the garlic buried under the black powder. “I’m going to borrow this.” Lollipop said as she tugged the string of garlic from around Pecan’s neck.

I’ll manage.” Pecan responded.

The vampires were not as sure of themselves, having seen Lollipop’s destruction of two of them. Pecan shifted his battle axe into a one handed grip and retrieved one of the wooden stakes strapped onto his leg. “This is ridiculous.” Dracula stated, frustrated. “There are still at least sixteen of you. All of you jump on them. Go on.”

As the lesser vampires obeyed the dark lord of the undead, only the three brides stayed back. Swinging the double sided axe, Pecan kept the bloodsucking fiends at bay, while he used the sharpened end of the stake to pierce a vampire’s heart. As Pecan went about the traditional manner of dispatching vampires, Lollipop Jones was using her newly discovered method. The female detective was slamming garlic into the vampires like an Italian chef, making a pizza, while killing vampires. As she planted the last white bulb into her attackers, she turned and saw three vampires piled on Pecan’s stake. The tip of the wood was just barely visible through the back of the latest skewer.

Nice vampire kabob.” She commented.

Pecan grunted and tossed the stake aside. Grabbing a fresh one from his leg, Pecan waded back into the pale fiends. Not many of them were left and the brides had yet to attack. Taking the head of one with his axe, Pecan head butted his other attacker. As the fanged ghoul stumbled back, Pecan drove the stake into his chest. The power of the strike planted the vampire on the ground and drove the wooden implement into the concrete foundation of the building.

I need a drink.” Lollipop commented.

Grabbing the bottle from his belt, Pecan tossed it over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on the three brides. Catching the bottle, Jones spun the cap off and took a giant mouthful. She then sprayed the liquid from her mouth on the last of her attackers. The vampires screamed and ran around, flailing their arms and smoking. “Refreshing.” Pecan commented.

Scanning the room, Lollipop confirmed that only the brides and Dracula remained. The relaxed attitude the vampire king had been displaying, had evaporated. “Get them my brides!” He commanded as he turned and fled towards a nearby door.

Can you . . .” Lollipop started to ask.

Go.” Pecan said, a hint of a smile curling his lip. “It’s only three of them. Doesn’t really seem fair.”

Fair enough.” Lollipop commented as she ran after the Prince of Darkness.

One of the brides stepped in her path. With a quick chop to her throat, Lollipop Jones sent her stumbling away gagging. Pecan folded his axe and slid it across his back. Making a fist, he popped his knuckles. “Ladies,” he greeted the trio.

Two of the brides hissed at him and rushed forward, the third one was still clutching her throat, gagging.

Lollipop ran after Dracula, she could see the red lining of his cape fluttering in the darkness ahead of her. They entered a room, where one of the remaining windows had not been boarded up. The ambient light of the streetlights and other light pollution from the city, filtered in and provided Lollipop enough light to see by. Dracula was leaning against a wall, holding his side. “You aren’t winded are you?” Lollipop asked.

I don’t even need to breathe.” Dracula commented dismissively.

He turned and made eye contact with Lollipop Jones. His dark eyes seemed to be pools of obsidian, pools that she could drown in. “You do not wish to continue this foolish endeavor.” Dracula whispered. “Your large friend is a threat to me. You will dispatch him for me.”

Unfortunately, Dracula did not know that his eyes were obsidian pools that Lollipop could drown in, but she had learned to swim under the tutelage of warrior nuns. Lashing out, Jones kicked Dracula in the chest. The vampire lord bounced off the wall and fell to the floor. “How?” He asked.

The Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist.” Lollipop explained. “I’ll admit you’re a pretty powerful hypnotist.”

She sent another kick at Dracula’s brow. In a flurry of movement, the vampire spun away and struck back. He barely grazed Jones’ extended leg, but it was enough to throw her off balance. Concerned more with escaping than anything else, Dracula ran from the room seeking to get away from the fierce warriors that had confronted him. Lollipop pursued once again. As they ran into the room where Pecan was dispatching one of the brides, Dracula leapt towards the hole in the ceiling. The same hole the detectives had descended through. Jones dove and caught the hem of Dracula’s cape. The rich silk fabric fell away in her hands and a small winged form rose into the air and vanished through the ruined ceiling.

Standing up, the cape in her hands, Jones looked around. Two of the brides had been piled onto the stake implanted into the floor. The third and final bride was kneeling on the concrete still clutching her throat. “Wow.” Pecan marveled.

Yeah.” Lollipop said, joining her partner. “I didn’t really hold back, so I may have done some real damage there.”

Dracula got away?” Pecan asked in his rumbling voice.

Yeah. What are we going to tell the chief?”

We have one culprit.” Pecan Sandie answered, pointing at the bride. “Should be enough to keep Alyssandra from looking bad.”

Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones escorted the final remaining bride into the police station and presented her directly to Police Chief Alyssandra Mendez. Sitting in the office was the reporter who began writing down the entire fantastic tale. The detectives did not tell the reporter that Dracula was still at large. Mendez had the bride put into a cell. “I’ve got to get this to print. Just wait until the public reads this.” The reporter said, grabbing her jacket from the back of the chair.

Good night Ms. Field.” The chief said as the reporter left.

Field?” Lollipop stated.

Yeah, Rachael Nicole Field, I’m sure you’ve read some of her articles. She’s been covering the crime report in this city for years.” Alyssandra explained.

With the reporter gone, the detectives told the chief everything, including how Dracula had escaped. As the sun rose, a scream erupted from the holding cells. “Now what?” The chief asked as she hurried towards the sound.

Lollipop and Pecan followed close behind. They found smoke drifting from the cell block. “Open up!” Alyssandra ordered.

The guard opened the door and the two detectives followed the chief into the cell. A pile of ash was sitting on the bunk, the bright rays of the sun shining in through the barred window. “Cell faces east.” Pecan commented.

Yeah, guess we should have thought of that.” Lollipop admitted. “Sorry.”

Rachael Fields was in the underground parking facility for the police department, when a well-dressed man stepped from the shadows and opened the door to her car. The reporter thought he looked familiar, then got lost in his eyes, they were so dark and contained a mystifying depth. Listening to a small voice in her head, the reporter opened the trunk of her car. As the mysterious stranger climbed in, she closed the trunk and drove away from the parking lot.

Shaking her head, Rachael looked around. Her car was sitting in front of an abandoned old colonial style house. Weird, she thought as she tried to remember why she was here. Looking in the rearview mirror, she saw that her trunk was open. Getting out and closing the trunk, the reporter wondered if there was a story in the house. I’ll have to come back tonight. She thought to herself.

The End?


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Last Chance

Operation Ice Bat is a collection of short horror stories. It is currently $2.99 for the Kindle, but tomorrow, October 1st it will be disappearing forever. So pick up this collection today. Below is the synopsis and if you are interested in getting a copy, then click on the cover at the bottom of this post. The collection is edited by Brian Keen, who you may remember from my previous post: Brian Keene: Icon of Horror.

From the page: Some of the horror genre’s biggest names join forces with talented newcomers for a benefit anthology to aid a friend in need. Edited by World Horror Grandmaster award winner Brian Keene, Operation Ice Bat includes horror and bizarro fiction from authors such as Christopher Golden, Kelli Owen, James A. Moore, Mary SanGiovanni, Robert Swartwood, J.F. Gonzalez, Mandy DeGeit, Robert Ford, Geoff Cooper, and many more.

Thanks for reading and keep checking back for more information about what I’m working on and other fun things I find in my travels.

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The rundown of what I’ve been doing.

Hello out there. Sorry I haven’t written in a little bit. Ever since Dragoncon things have been a bit hectic. I’m settling down in a new job, so that takes some time. Also I’m currently working a few new stories.

I know that’s what you want to hear about. So I’ll go ahead and tell you. Friedkin’s Curse: A Werewolf Tale of Terror is currently at the editors and I hope to be releasing an updated Kindle version as well as a paperback edition. More details on that as it happens.

I’ve been talking for a little bit now two short stories that I’m hoping to have out next year. Currently, the vampire short that I hope to have out next month is in the hands of my Alpha reader. The second Richard Rex story will be sent, once I’ve received the vampire story back. I would give you more regarding titles, but I haven’t settled on the right one just yet.

For those fans of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie, you can expect to see more of the daring detective duo next month. I don’t want to give away any spoilers on this one, let me just say this is by far the biggest adventure I’ve planned for these two. So keep checking back to see what craziness they get swept up in.

Not to mention, I’m making a run through the third Winston & Baum novel so that I can have it ready by next year. So as you can see, it’s a busy time.

With your support, we’ll make the next 12 months, the most productive that the radioactive rabbit has seen yet. Thanks for stopping by and keep checking back for release informaiton on the aforementioned projects.

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Need Something to do this Labor Day Weekend

Hello everyone. I just wanted to drop a message to everyone about two fun things going on during Labor Day weekend.

First, there is Dragoncon, the Southeast’s largest Pop Culture convention. Taking up the five hotels near the Peachtree Center Downtown, Dragoncon offers a great deal of different things to different people. There is a vendors building for those that want to shop, or you can check out one of the numerous panels. If you are looking for books and authors, there will be plenty of both available at the con. Even some of your favorite people from the world of comics and movies. Don’t believe me, then just check out their guest’s page.

I will be at Dragoncon helping my talented wife in the Dragoncon Art Show. You can also pick up autographed copies of my Winston & Baum books at her table. So if you’re in town stop by and say hey, or pick some art and books.

If you aren’t into the whole pop culture convention scene, but want something fun to do, then go check out the AJC Decatur Book Festival. The AJC Decatur Book Festival is the largest independent book festival in the country and one of the five largest overall. You can meet a lot of great authors or purchase books from any number of booksellers. If you do decide to go, please stop by and see my friends J.K. Barber. This husband and wife duo have written a great fantasy series called the Chronicles of Aronshoe, and have just released the first volume of their next series, set in a mermaid society. They’ll also have copies of their individual titles. So please stop by and say hey to them, or if you can’t but are interested in their books, just click the cover below.

I hope that you can at least make it out to one of these great events. For more information about Dragoncon visit: For the AJC Decatur Book Festival visit:

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