Ghost Story

Below is the Ghost Story that I told as part of the Ghost Story panel at Connooga 2015. The audience member before me, told a very emotional and dark story of one of his encounters. Because of this, I adjusted my telling of this story. Anyone, who has ever heard me tell this tale, knows that I normally emphasize the darker nature of it. Given the somber mood of the room, I wanted to lighten it up and rev the audience back up. So I decided to emphasize the humor in it. I’ll go ahead and apologize for the less than fantastic audio quality, but you should be able to hear everything just fine. Enjoy!

 

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My Connooga Schedule

I wanted to let everyone know that I will be at Connooga this weekend. You can find me in the dealer’s section with my cover artist. We’ll have copies of both Winston & Baum books as well as Friedkin’s Curse: A Werewolf Tale of Terror, books are $10 so stop by and pick up your copies today. Also, I will be a panelist for several of their events. Below is a list of my schedule for panels (you can use the Connooga app to verify the locations for these events).

Panel Date/Time Name
Friday 8:00PM YA – What is it?
Saturday 10:00 AM Blogging, Platforming, and Online Marketing for Writers
Saturday 7:30PM Ghost Stories Event
Sunday 11:00 AM Story Structure – multiple approaches introduced and discussed
Sunday 1:00 PM The Gory Details of Writing Horror

I look forward to getting to meet some of you awesome people this weekend.

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Exciting News!

It has been a while since my last post.  Mainly because I have been busy trying to get everything ready.  So I’ll start with the good news.  A newly edited version of my first novel Friedkin’s Curse: A Werewolf Tale of Terror is available for the Kindle.  You can click on the cover below to go to Amazon and pick it up.

If you’ve already purchased the book previously, then you can download the updated version at no cost.  Now for the really exciting part, since it has been edited and is all shiny and new, Friedkin’s Curse is available in print for the first time ever.  You can find it by clicking the cover below.

As of this posting, Amazon is selling it for $9.74, the normal retail price is $10.99 so that’s not a bad deal.  Especially, if you are looking for something to round out the cart for free shipping.  Also, I will be attending Connooga from February 27 – March 1.  I will have copies of the two published Winston & Baum steampunk adventures, as well as copies of Friedkin’s Curse for sale.  I’ll be sharing a table with my lovely wife and cover artist Caralyn (www.mysticreflections.com).  So if you live in the Chattanooga area or feel like coming up and enjoying a con, we look forward to seeing you there.  Thanks for reading and keep checking back to see what I’m working on next.

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It’s a Brand New Year . . . of Wonder!

Hello all and Happy New Year!  I hope you all had good seasonal festivities.  Now I know some of you are most likely still cradling a few gift cards looking for the perfect purchase to make with them or have received Kindles and are looking for the perfect book to start your paperless existence.  Good news, I have some ideas that just might prove to be what you are looking for.

I just so happen to have books available, on Kindle and in paperback.  Go on click the link and see if this isn’t what you are looking for Author’s Page.

If you are more of an epic fantasy reader, guess what I have just the authors for you.  JK Barber is a husband and wife author team with their first fantasy series complete and the first book of their second series out.  Why don’t you take a walk through Aronshoe or Mervidia here: JK Barber’s Author Page.

Maybe you aren’t a genre specific reader, maybe you like short stories.  If this sounds like you, then check out my friend A.J. Scott’s stories and see if he doesn’t have at least one to interest you.  With his wide range of themes, he should be able to at least give you a quick, enjoyable read.  For more information visit: A.J. Scott: Man, Myth, Frawg.

Hopefully, this will help with your gift card/Kindle dilemma.  For those of you near Chattanooga, Caralyn (my cover artist: www.mysticreflections.com) and I will be attending this year’s Connooga running from February 27 through March 1.  Look forward to seeing you there, until next time.

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Great Opportunity for Christmas gifts

Hello out there. In case anyone is going to be in the Powder Springs area this Saturday, December 13, you should stop by the Bookworm used & rare bookstore. I will be there along with another author, selling and signing copies of both Winston & Baum books. It’s my last appearance of the year, and your last chance to see my smiling face in person for 2014. Also, autographed books make great Christmas presents, especially when you can get them personalized to a person of your choosing. One guy had me make one out to “Pookie,” so when I say a person of your choosing, I mean it. Or if you wanted, I could make it out to your pet, if you have dog or cat that can read, please bring it in, I’d love to know what it thinks of my work.

If you won’t be able to make it out to the signing, I will leave a few copies at the Bookworm and you can contact them about purchasing them. Although if you really want to get personalized autographed copies and help out an awesome cause, please visit this auction site. Some dear friends of mine are looking to add a precious little life to their home through adoption. You can pick up an author’s pack in their auction. It contains, a copy of each book autographed to a person of your choosing, an 8×10 print of each cover and a set of bookmarks. All this for starting at $20.00. My cover artist has also donated some postcard sets, and a sculpture to their auction. Julie isn’t just getting donations either, she is a fantastic quilter and has many wonderful quilts for auction as well. So if you can, please donate to this worthy cause and help them share their love.

Please keep checking in for more fun stuff that I have going on.

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After the Turkey the Madness Begins

Remember, it's the turkey or us!

Remember, it’s the turkey or us!

Thanksgiving is upon us and the start of the holiday shopping season will soon commence. However, Saturday, November 29th is shop local day. With that in mind I thought I’d encourage you all to shop at some of our local retailers and pick up an autographed copies of the Winston & Baum steampunk adventures. Autographed copies of the first book Winston & Baum and the Secret of the Stone Circle are available in Powder Springs at the Bookworm. You can get autographed copies of both books, as well as a lot of other autographed works by local authors at the Hiram Bookstore. So please drop by and support these local businesses that are so willing to support local authors and artists.

If you are waiting for Cyber Monday instead, then you can shop independent. You can locate my works on the current fiction page above or click here. My cover artist has a store where she sales her handmade polymer clay sculptures and prints of her work, you can find her here. A friend of mine is making purses and bags, you can gather these goodies here.

So as you go and spend your hard earned money on goodies for those that you love and care about, or that you just buy out of obligation for, please help support local merchants and independent artists and authors. Thanks for reading and keep checking back for fun stuff.

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It’s Alive!

Hello everyone, as I teased on Friday, Friends Don’t Let Friends be Undead is now live on the Kindle.    Here’s the synopsis:

 “Three days after her husband dies, Lily is shocked to see him staring at her from outside her home. Calling on the four men he trusted most, Lily relies on them to place Steve back into his eternal rest. Guided by his journal, his friends will find that the man they loved has been replaced by a vicious fiend that will stop at nothing to sate its thirst for blood.”

If this sounds like something you’d be interested in reading just click on the cover below.

A big “Thank you” to my cover artist for another wonderful cover.

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Coming Next Week

Just wanted to drop a quick line and let everyone know that next week, my latest short story “Friends Don’t Let Friends be Undead” will be available on the Kindle.  This is a new horror short about a vampire and the four friends that have to return him to his eternal slumber.  So keep your eyes here, I’ll post the cover along with a link to the page as soon as it goes live.  Thanks for checking in and have a great weekend.

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The House of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie

A little explanation about our title for today.  When Universal started releasing their monster movies they were all the rage, but over time 1 monster just wasn’t enough.  Someone came up with the brilliant idea of combining the monsters.  So they would name it the House of stuff (but instead of stuff it was like Dracula or Frankenstein).  I thought that Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie should contribute to that proud tradition.

First they faced Dracula, then the Wolfman, then Frankenstein, and finally a mummy (not that one).  Now our detectives will face them all in:

The House of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie

At last we are all gathered.” Dracula announced, standing at the head of the long oak table. A fire burned nearby in the stone fireplace. “With Halloween’s sunset, we will conclude our business and the world will rediscover terror.”

Yup, the boys are back in town.

Yup, the boys are back in town.

As he let loose a malevolent laugh, the other assembled monsters joined in. The wolfman, Peter Stubbe, split the night with a howl that lasted through the final notes of laughter. “And what about those two detectives?” Dr. Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked.

Ah yes, good question my dear doctor. And might I add, that you have done your ancestors proud.” Dracula stated, motioning to the large stitched figure seated beside her. The scientist patted her creation on the shoulder, proudly. “As for the detectives, we will deal with them in the same manner that we dealt with the interloper, Azul Gato.”

The Aztec Mummy, seated at the far end of the table, stiffened, more than his already stiff body was. “I am not sure what you mean.” Frankenstein stated. “They cannot be deported.”

No, they cannot.” Dracula stated, a malevolent smile crossing his lips, revealing his pointed fangs. “But the human authorities can easily delay them for us. With my newest human servant, that will not be a difficult task.”

Rachael N. Field, reporter assigned to follow Chief of Police Alyssandra Mendez, stood outside the offices of Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie. She waited until the daring detectives arrived. It was still several minutes before their scheduled office hours, when she heard the approaching footsteps of something heavy. Turning towards the stairway door, she saw the oversized frame of Pecan Sandie squeeze through the doorway and step into the hall. “Mr. Sandie, a pleasure to see you again.” Field called and gave a short wave.

Pecan nodded. “And what do we owe the pleasure of this visit?” Lollipop asked from behind the reporter.

Spinning, Rachael gasped, clutching a hand to her heart. “Oh!” She exclaimed. “You startled me.”

Sorry.” Lollipop Jones apologized.

The detective was dressed in her usual trench coat and hat, the white stick of a sucker, protruding between her lips. “No worries.” Rachael replied. “I was wanting to get an exclusive interview with you for my article of the chief.”

Pecan Sandie had joined them and unlocked their office door. He looked at his partner and shrugged. “Okay.” Lollipop agreed. “But make it quick.”

Rachael followed Pecan into the office, with Lollipop entering last. Sitting down in front of Pecan’s desk, Rachael surveyed the office. “I only had a few questions regarding the recent events at the museum.” Field explained, as she flipped open her notebook.

After asking a few superficial questions, Rachael thanked the detectives and left their office. As she passed through the small waiting room, she dropped something behind one of the plants in the corner.

So we haven’t had any luck with the exhibit at the museum.” Lollipop stated.

Pecan nodded. The duo had been through every article associated with the exhibit that Dracula had hitchhiked in with, and they had found no clue as to where the lord of the vampires could be hiding. Outside, the sun was starting to sink behind the buildings. A loud knocking came from the door. Stepping into the small waiting area, Lollipop opened it. Standing in the hallway was Alyssandra Mendez, the chief of police. “Hey Chief.” Lollipop greeted.

Ms. Jones, I’m afraid I have a warrant to search these premises.” Mendez stated, holding up the paper.

What?” Pecan rumbled from the office area.

Some of the policemen reached towards their sidearms. “I wouldn’t do that guys.” Lollipop cautioned.

It’s all right.” Mendez stated. “If you’ll let my men inside, I’ll explain.”

Stepping back into their office, the police started to search through the small waiting area. The detectives sat behind their respective desks. Lollipop discarded the empty stick from her mouth and replaced it with a fresh sucker from her pocket. “Earlier this afternoon, we received a call of an attack.” Mendez started. “We were able to get several eye witnesses to the event. At first, we thought it might be related to the strange things this city has witnessed this month, but after talking to the witnesses, we don’t think so.”

What did they see?” Lollipop asked.

A man, matching Pecan Sandie’s description, nearly flattened a car and made off with the elderly woman driver.” Mendez explained. “Can you account for his whereabouts today?”

He’s been in the office with me all day.” Lollipop Jones stated.

Pecan sat behind his desk, a slowly burning look of rage smoldered in his eyes. “I’m not sure it was him, so we’re doing this as a precaution, just to go ahead and clear his name.”

Chief?” One of the police called from the small waiting room.

Excuse me.” She said, stepping out to speak with her men.

The chief returned a moment later, carrying a woman’s wallet. “Can you explain how this got here?” She asked.

Never seen it before.” Pecan stated.

Me either.” Lollipop agreed.

It belongs to our victim.” Mendez announced. “Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie, I’m placing you under arrest for the assault and abduction of Henrietta Von Frankenstein.”

Pecan flipped his desk into their path and rushed across the small room. He lifted up Lollipop Jones and burst through the window behind her, landing on the fire escape. “What?” She started to ask.

Run.” Pecan rumbled, as he began to slide down the stairs to the next floor.

After repeating the procedure several times, the duo were in the alley. Lollipop saw flashing blue lights on one end of the alley, but not the other. Running away from the police, she heard Pecan Sandie trundling along behind her. Several blocks away from their office, seeking shelter from the cold autumn wind, the duo sat in a parking garage stairwell. “You know who’s responsible for this.” Pecan stated, his voice filled with anger.

Yeah, I heard who the victim was and I can think of something that fits your description pretty well.” Lollipop agreed, remembering how the mad doctor’s creation had been almost the same size as her partner. “I still don’t see how they could have gotten her wallet into our office.”

Field.” Pecan replied.

What?” Lollipop asked.

R. N. Field” Pecan explained. “She’s working for Dracula.”

How?” Lollipop stated. “Wouldn’t she have to have contact with him first?”

Pecan nodded. “It’s the only possible way. And she made sure the police found out that the attacker looked like me. Plus, I mean this is kind of how these things always tend to work out.”

Yeah, it’s odd. It’s almost like lazy writing, but anyway. Looks like it’s time to meet the press.” Lollipop Jones stated, heading out of the stairwell.

Rachael Field was walking out of her apartment to her car. Her eyes were glazed over and she did not see the detectives standing beside her walkway. “Hey there Field.” Lollipop called.

The reporter did not even look at them. “Rude.” Pecan stated, as he reached out towards her.

Lollipop put a hand on her partner’s shoulder. “Look at her face.” She said pointing.

The hulking behemoth noticed that the reporter’s features were slack. “Hypnotism.” Pecan rumbled.

Right. Dracula tried to do the same thing to me.” Lollipop explained. “He wasn’t as good as my teachers.”

Lollipop Jones was referring to the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, an order of warrior nuns that had trained her. “Follow her?” Pecan offered.

Lollipop nodded. As the reporter opened the driver’s side door of her car, the detectives climbed into the backseat. If she noticed, she didn’t give any indication.. Rachael N. Field cranked the car and started driving.

You are here at the sufferance of us all!” Dracula shouted, pointing at the Aztec Mummy.

The mummy mumbled something in response. “He’s right.” Peter Stubbe, still in human form, replied. “If we could have gotten into a town with an Egyptian wing, you wouldn’t be here.”

Crossing his arms, the Aztec Mummy sat down. “Is he pouting?” Dracula asked incredulously.

Peter just shrugged. “Hrm, chge burrat.” Frankenstein’s creature said, his motor skills weren’t great yet, but he was learning speech: slowly but surely.

He’s right!” Dracula exclaimed, motioning toward the creature. “Why do you turn into a bat? You aren’t a vampire or even a bat related creature. And what’s the deal with draining one victim of blood? You are like some stupid amalgamation of monsters.”

The Aztec Mummy made a response, but its mask muffled the sound. “And take off that stupid mask or quit talking. It’s rude to mumble.” Dracula replied to the mumbled comeback.

How long?” Peter Stubbe asked.

Henrietta Von Frankenstein checked her watch. “He should be here in about five minutes.” She replied.

Well, might as well get my game face on.” Peter Stubbe stated, as his nose began to elongate and black fur started to sprout from his pores.

Indeed.” Dracula agreed, distracted. “Ah, my new assistant is arriving, just in time.”

Rachael stopped her car in front of the old colonial home. Large trees obscured the front of the house, but the stairs were clear enough. Lights were shining inside the derelict structure. “Seems like a good monster hangout.” Pecan stated, stepping from the cramped car and stretching.

Yeah.” Lollipop agreed. “I don’t want her to be a problem.”

With a light tap, Lollipop rendered the human thrall unconscious. Pecan caught her and set her back into her car. “Do you think we should knock?” Pecan asked, a feral grin on his face.

Not yet.” Lollipop stated. “We don’t have much of a plan.”

The two detectives quickly devised a strategy. “Now why don’t you knock?” Lollipop Jones asked, as she vanished around the back of the house.

Taking the front steps in two bounds, Pecan Sandie drew back and placed his gigantic fist directly in the center of the two entry doors. They rocketed off the hinges and flew into the foyer, sliding into the dining room. “Well someone’s being loud this evening.” Dracula stated.

He entered the foyer, smiling. It quickly fell from his face, when he saw the giant figure looming. “You!” He exclaimed. “We will not allow you to stop us. Get him!”

As the gathered monsters rushed from their seats towards Pecan Sandie, the massive man calmly plucked his flip out battle axe from his back. With a flick of his wrist, he extended the deadly weapon. As he started to laugh, a rumbling sound that echoed in the large old house, the monsters stopped, unsure of themselves. “Well?” Pecan Sandie challenged.

Frankenstein’s patchwork man rushed forward, his mismatched fists raised above his head. Lowering his shoulder, Pecan slammed into the broad brute, bouncing him into the wall. The weight of the creature was too great and the wall collapsed, dropping the stitched together monster onto the weak floor boards. His attention turned towards the product of science, Peter Stubbe attached Pecan Sandie from behind. Spinning, the gargantuan detective caught the wolfman mid-leap and spun, releasing the furry fiend. As planned, the werewolf crashed into the Aztec Mummy, leaving both of them in a heap on the floor. “You tried to frame me?!” Pecan demanded.

Looking at his downed companions, Dracula held his hands up innocently in front of him. “Okay, I can see why you might be upset, but this gathering is incredibly important for us. We couldn’t have you interrupting it.” Dracula explained.

Did you think that killing a museum guard and turning several others into vampires was not the best way to keep a low profile?” Pecan Sandie asked in his rumbling voice.

I know, the guard was just there and I had forgot to pack a snack for the trip. So I’m really sorry about that, but you know, accidents happen.” Dracula offered weakly.

You got this goon involved?” Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked from the dining room.

Not intentionally.” The vampire explained. “How was I supposed to know that the police would bring in these two . . . where’s the other one?”

As if on cue, Lollipop Jones rushed in from behind and planted the heel of her foot directly into the small of the noble nosferatu’s back. The well-dressed undead dropped with a groan. “I’m right here.” Lollipop stated.

The wolfman, having untangled himself from the Aztec Mummy’s trappings, rushed towards the lithe female detective. With a quick turn, she planted her first in the fur covered abdomen of her attacker, delivering an Uber-Death Punch. The boneless werewolf collapsed in a puddle of fur. “Won’t keep him down.” Pecan stated.

I know.” Lollipop responded, as she turned her attentions back to Dracula.

Two arms, both made from different pieces of men with scientifically enhanced strength, wrapped around Pecan’s chest, trapping his arms by his side. Struggling, the massive man mountain tried to break the hold of Frankenstein’s creature. Laughing, at least it sounded like laughing, but was muffled by its burial mask, the Aztec Mummy approached the struggling detective. A ceremonial bowl in one hand, with a raised obsidian dagger clutched in the other. Lollipop Jones saw her partner’s peril and turned to attend to it. Dracula grabbed her ponytail and hurled her away from Pecan. “Now you foolish wench! I have commanded nations and you think to defeat me.” He sneered, baring his fangs.

As she bounced off the wall, the air was forced from her lungs, expelling her sucker across the room, where it shattered on the floor. Reaching up, Lollipop wiped a drop of blood from underneath her nose and saw her devastated sugary treat. “Now, I’m pissed.” She stated. Reaching inside her coat, she retrieved a pale yellow sucker that was almost translucent. “This one’s just for you.” She announced as she placed the confection in her mouth.

Pecan Sandie fought to get free of his physical match and avoid the dangerous dagger of the demented dead guy in rags (that’s a lot of d’s but I love alliteration). Almost upon him, the window high up in the wall, shattered. A familiar blue masked luchador descended, landing on top of the Aztec Mummy. “Hola, amigos.” Azul Gato greeted. “I told you it would only take about a week.”

Smiling, Pecan Sandie slammed his head straight back into the mad science project’s face. With a satisfying crunch, Pecan felt the vice like grip around him loosen. Straining, Pecan broke the bear hug and turned to face the monster. Dropping his axe to the floor, Pecan hoisted the behemoth off his feet and tossed him back into the dining room. “Heavy.” Pecan stated, stretching.

Lollipop Jones and Dracula circled each other, both of them seeking an opening to attack. Dracula came in and slashed at the dainty detective. Lollipop easily dodged the attack and saw her opportunity. Taking the sucker from her mouth, she slapped the sticky orb right between Dracula’s eyes, like one of those kids that always leaves half-eaten candy where you’re most likely to accidentally find it. We all know those kids and can’t stand them, but this was a dangerous warrior nun trained detective fighting a monster, so we’ll let it slide, won’t we folks? Flipping away from the vampire, Lollipop joined Pecan Sandie and Azul Gato in the center of the foyer. Smoke started to drift from Dracula’s forehead. “Ow!” He shouted, flailing around, trying to get the sticky treat off his head. “What is this?”

Garlic lollipop.” Jones stated.

Why would you even have this?” Dracula questioned, as he finally wrenched the treat from his smoking forehead.

With his bones half formed, the wolfman tried to pull himself over towards the crime fighters. Pecan grabbed the furry lump and tossed it into Dracula. “Are we good?” Pecan asked.

Lollipop did a quick check around them. “Yup. Water’s on the left.” She answered.

Frankenstein’s creature came rushing from the dining room. “I’m on it.” Lollipop stated.

Pecan, trusting his partner, punched through the floor and came up with two different sets of pipes. One was PVC and the other was a rubber tubing. As the creature charged, Lollipop Jones stepped in front of the jigsaw juggernaut. Swatting at the diminutive detective, the monster gave Lollipop the chance she needed. Grasping the malformed arm, Lollipop pivoted and used the creature’s momentum against it. Sailing through the air, the hulking beast crashed down beside Dracula and the werewolf.

Breaking the PVC pipe, Pecan began to spray the jumbled monsters with water. “Gato.” Pecan said.

The luchador had the Aztec Mummy on his shoulders and was performing an airplane spin. “Gladly.” Azul Gato responded, tossing the bandaged bad guy among its soaking associates.

Water?” Dracula questioned, laughing. “You will have to do better than this.”

I plan on it.” Pecan said, cutting the rubber tubing with his battle axe.

Sparks flew from the severed power line. The monster’s eyes grew wide as the massive detective dropped the line onto the wet floor. As the electricity coursed through the monsters, the most diabolical fiend entered the house: the creature from the law firm of Black, Lagoon, and Gillman. And not just a creature, but a partner nonetheless, Gillman himself was here to oversee the gathering. Its three piece suit was impeccable, with its green scaled head rising above a designer tie. “What’s the meaning of this?” The creature asked, staring at the scene before it. Its voice was watery and had a similar sound to a gurgle.

Yeah, definitely an "innocent" looking gathering.

Yeah, definitely an “innocent” looking gathering.

Grabbing the well-dressed monster, Pecan shoved it into the electrical current. Dropping its briefcase, the Gillman became trapped in the shocking flow of power. As the grandfather clock in the corner started to chime midnight, the power shorted out and the monsters were free. Smoke rising off of them, the monsters began to wail. “No!” Dracula cried to the rafters. “What can we do?”

Standing up the lawyer straightened his tie with his webbed hands. “Unfortunately, I warned you that holding the meeting so close to the deadline might cause problems. The contracts, with the exception of mine, have expired. We have thirty days to negotiate some consignments, but unfortunately we have lost the upper hand.”

What?” Henrietta Von Frankenstein asked, as she emerged from the closet where she had hidden. “I went through all that trouble though.”

As I said, not all hope is lost. We can get something, but we have lost our chance to renew the contract under the old terms.” Gillman explained.

What’s going on?” Lollipop demanded. “Are we going to finish this or what?”

She was ready to continue her fight. Behind her, Pecan Sandie stood with battle axe in hand, ready as well. Azul Gato leaned against the wall, his eyes watching the Aztec Mummy. “What’s the point?” Dracula lamented.

Peter Stubbe, the wolfman, let out a whine. “I’m sorry.” Gillman started. “It seems that you have stumbled onto something outside your scope. I represent my clients for their contract negotiations. In order to renew our contracts under the current terms, all forms must be signed by midnight on Halloween every ten years.”

Contracts?” Pecan asked, confused.

Yes. My clients’ likeness is used in merchandising worldwide, it’s my job to make sure that they are properly compensated for said use.” Gillman explained. Producing a card from inside his jacket, the amphibious creature handed one to each of the detectives. “If you ever need representing, look me up.” Turning to the rest of the monsters, he continued. “Be at my office tomorrow evening and we’ll try to salvage this.”

Walking out into the night, the detectives watched as the Gillman got behind the wheel of a new luxury sedan and drove off. “Wonderful.” Dracula stated.

The monsters prepared to depart. “Wait!” Azul Gato stated. “I have no quarrel with most of you, but the Aztec Mummy cannot be allowed to leave here.”

A muffled laughter erupted from under the mask, the mummy said something and gestured to the other monsters present. “What’s he saying?” Lollipop asked.

Who knows?” Dracula replied. “He’s all yours, we don’t even like that guy.”

His laughter stopped as the mummy turned and watched as the other monsters headed for the door. Making a fist, Azul Gato cracked his knuckles. “Do you need any help?” Lollipop asked.

No. I will see you some other time amigos.” Azul Gato stated as he approached the bandaged fiend.

Stepping out onto the steps of the old house, the detectives saw a bat flitting away into the night, the wolfman disappeared into the woods, and Frankenstein and her creature were walking down the driveway. Rachael N. Field was waking up behind the wheel of her car. Shaking her head, the reporter cranked the car and drove off. “How did you know that would work?” Lollipop asked Pecan.

Don’t cross the streams, until you have to so you can save the day.” Pecan answered.

Right, never cross the streams.

Right, never cross the streams.

Really, you’re going to end on a Ghostbusters’ quote?” Lollipop Jones asked.

End?” Pecan asked.

Not you. I’m talking to you, Mr. Tucker.” Lollipop stated, shattering the fourth wall. “You’re going to end this five part story with a Ghostbusters’ quote?” She questioned.

It’s the thirtieth anniversary, so yes Lollipop Jones, I am.

I don’t mind ending on a Ghostbusters’ quote.” Pecan Sandie announced. “Dogs and cats, living together! Mass hysteria!”

That's right 30 years of mass hysteria.

That’s right 30 years of mass hysteria.

The End

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Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs the Mummy (but not that one)

Just as a little sidenote, I love Luchador films.  That has nothing really to do with this week’s Horror themed adventure, but you know, just felt like sharing.    Following their encounter with Dracula, face-off with the Wolfman, and shocking Frankenstein experience, I give to you:

Lollipop Jones & Pecan Sandie vs The Mummy (but not that one)

Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones were going through the city museum’s latest exhibit, an exhibit that had brought Count Dracula to the city. The vampire lord had escaped. So far the wolfman and a descendant of Frankenstein had shown up. All of them had gotten away, although it wasn’t clear what had become of the female Frankenstein and her creation. “What are we doing here?” Lollipop asked, taking the empty sucker stick from her mouth. Rifling through her pockets, she retrieved another sucker. “I’ve only got one more of these left, so we need to make this quick.”

I thought Dracula might have left a clue.” Pecan stated, his voice rumbling like thunder.

Why don’t we open the crate?” Lollipop asked, pointing at the crate displayed beneath the glass enclosure.

It had been the method of travel implored by the undead fiend. Pecan shrugged and approached the counter. He raised his massive fist into the air. Lollipop looked away to avoid any flying glass. After the shattering sound, she looked back. Pecan Sandie, massive mountain of a man, stood looking towards the entrance, his fist still raised in the air, the glass counter unscathed. “Was that you?” Lollipop Jones asked.

Pecan shook his head. “This way.” He said, heading towards the entrance.

Stepping through the arching doorway, the detectives saw the shattered remains of a display case. Standing in the center of the foyer was a figure wearing a feathered headdress and wrapped in ancient cloth. “A mummy?” Lollipop stated. “Really?”

Turning towards the sound, the mummy made a muffled sound from underneath its ornate carven mask. “I think it’s trying to talk.” Pecan stated, staring confused at the creature. “I thought only the Egyptian ones came back.”

The mummy put a hand on its desiccated hip and shook a fist at the hulking man. Pecan grabbed the mummy’s outstretched hand and swung the bandaged figure around. Letting go, he sent the Aztec figure crashing into the wall. Pushing free of the wall, the figure stood up, cracking its vertebrae. “You wouldn’t happen to have a book on mummies would you?” Lollipop asked.

Not with me.” Pecan responded.

Lollipop Jones, trained by the warrior nuns of the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, planted her feet and prepared to strike down the ancient being. As she drew back to strike, an engine revved from outside and a motorcycle crashed through the glass doors. A man in a blue mask, red cape, and spandex outfit, leaped from the rolling machine and landed on Pecan’s shoulders. Using this new distraction to its advantage, the Aztec Mummy morphed into a bat and flew into the night. “Why did the mummy just turn into a bat?” Lollipop asked, turning back to her partner.

Surprisingly, the masked wrestler was still grappling with Pecan Sandie. With his legs wrapped tightly around the corded muscles of Sandie’s neck, the luchador was trying to flip the large man over. Tapping the wrestler on the forehead, Jones got his attention. “Excuse me.” She stated. “What are you doing?”

I will deal with you in a moment, bruja.” The wrestler stated.

Wrapping his massive hands around the wrestler’s legs, Pecan Sandie tried to pry the man off. “I don’t know what you just called me, but I’m going to assume it wasn’t nice.” Lollipop announced.

As Pecan leveraged the spandex clad legs apart, Lollipop delivered an open handed blow to the side of the masked man’s head. His legs no longer locked around Pecan’s throat, the man dropped to the floor. Rolling back to his feet, the wrestler stumbled back trying to regain his balance. “Now why did you attack us?” Lollipop asked again.

Yeah.” Pecan stated. “I thought you guys fought against Aztec Mummies and monsters.”

Are you not the beast of Frankenstein?” The luchador asked, accusingly.

Him?” Lollipop asked, pointing at her partner. “We fought against that guy just last week. He and his creator were washed away in the flood from the dam.”

I saw you there. Do you expect me to believe that you are not the creature?” The wrestler asked again.

Look, I’m Lollipop Jones and this is my partner, Pecan Sandie.” The female detective introduced them. “Note how neither of us introduces ourselves as Frankenstein.”

I have heard tales of the great Lollipop and Pecan.” The luchador stated, his voice conveying the awe that he felt. “Please accept my apologies. After having seen your friend survive the flood, combined with his size and strength, I assumed he was the creature.”

No worries.” Pecan stated, rubbing a hand around his throat. “Good grip.”

Thank you. I am the Azul Gato, my father the Azul Tigre once wore a mask as well.” Gato explained. “It was after defeating an Aztec Mummy that he made his way to the main event in the sky.”

Pictured: Azul Gato, high school portrait

Pictured: Azul Gato, high school portrait

Sorry to hear it.” Lollipop said. “You should probably go back to Mexico. We’ll wrap up this mummy case.”

I would love to go home to Mexico, but it is a matter of honor that I cannot. My family has confronted these creatures of living death for five generations.” He stated. “I would gladly accept your help against this menace though.”

Lollipop and Pecan exchanged a glance. “What do you think?” Jones asked.

I don’t think I have a book on them.” Pecan offered.

Well then that’s settled.” Lollipop replied. “Azul Gato welcome aboard. You need to clean up the mess you made though.”

No worries.” Gato stated. “I can have this patched up in no time.”

Jones gave Azul Gato the address to their offices and told him to meet them there, once he had finished fixing the glass doors.

As the sun rose into the sky, the Azul Gato entered the office of the detectives. “That was quick.” Pecan commented.

I know a guy.” Gato replied.

As long as it’s fixed, I don’t care.” Lollipop stated. “Okay expert, what can we expect from the mummy.”

The Aztec Mummy brought here was a high priest. He is the first high priest to have awaken in nearly sixty years. He is also the only Aztec Mummy to resurrect away from Mexico.” Gato explained. “I am curious to know why now and here.”

Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie shared a concerned glance. “We’ve had a lot of monster problems lately.” Jones informed the wrestler.

They are gathering?” Gato asked.

Pecan merely nodded.

No good can come of this.” Gato stated. “If we are to stop the mummy from joining their ranks, then we must stop him before he can gather himself.”

What?” Pecan asked, confused by the luchador’s statement.

Sorry.” Gato apologized. “He must gather himself, not his body, but the things that denote his position. To be a complete and true Aztec Mummy, he will search for the tools of his life before mummification. Also, he will most likely take a victim.”

Good to know.” Jones responded. “Answer me this, why did he turn into a bat? I thought that was strictly a vampire trick.”

Azul Gato laughed, a hearty sound. “He transforms himself for the same reason that I drive a motorcycle, because I can.”

I can tell that you are just going to be a big ball of helpful.” Lollipop stated, sarcasm dripping from her words.

I cannot tell you why it is an evil creature or why it transforms into a bat. I also cannot tell you why it will drain the blood of its first victim and try to cut the heart out of the others. What I do know is that it will return to the museum for more of the artifacts related to the Aztec priesthood.” Gato informed them. “If we can find the first victim, we may know where its layer is, but without that we can be prepared at the museum tonight.”

As the transplanted crime fighter finished speaking, the phone rang. Picking up the receiver, Lollipop greeted the caller. It was a quick conversation. “That was Chief Mendez.” Lollipop Jones stated, opening the top drawer of her desk. “We’ve either found another vampire victim or the Aztec Mummy has struck.”

Pulling out a handful of suckers, Jones began distributing them to the different pockets of her coat. Gato gave a curious look to Pecan. The giant just shrugged his shoulders as he headed for the door.

The trio arrived at the crime scene only a few minutes later. Police Chief Alyssandra Mendez greeted them personally. “Azul Gato?” She asked.

Si, Senorita.” He answered with a slight bow.

I am honored to have such a distinguished figure working with us.” The chief replied, her cheeks starting to blush.

R. N. Field, a reporter assigned to the follow the chief, seemed overly interested in the wrestler. She looked like she had not slept well in weeks, bags had piled up under her eyes and her complexion seemed to have paled since their last meeting with her. “You of course remember Ms. Field.” Alyssandra stated, acknowledging the woman.

Of course.” Lollipop replied. “You have something for us chief?”

Right this way.” Alyssandra stated as she led the trio, the reported close behind.

Laying in the alley was one of the city’s homeless population. The body was a dried out husk. It was obvious that any fluid in the body had been removed. Kneeling down, the two detectives examined the body. They saw no signs of traditional vampirism. “How can we tell about your guy?” Lollipop asked Gato.

Look around the wrist.” Azul Gato instructed. “If you see the mark you’ll know.”

Checking the wrist, the detectives found a wound. It was about as wide as one of the mummy’s bandages. “Well that answers that question.” Pecan stated.

Chief, this isn’t related to the other incident.” Lollipop said.

There are others?” Alyssandra asked, casting a quick glance at the attendant reporter.

Not quite.” Lollipop answered. “This is the only person you’ll find with this wound.”

Azul Gato nodded to confirm her statement. “I see.” The chief said. “Very well, if you two are on the case with Azul Gato, then I’ll leave you to it, but please keep me posted.”

Of course.” Lollipop said, as she walked with the others back towards the street.

Clear of the crime scene and the authorities, the detectives started getting more information from the Latino crime fighter. “So it’ll go back to the museum?” Pecan asked.

Yes.” Gato confirmed. “It will need a bowl, sacred knife, and stone tablet.”

Why?” Lollipop asked.

Those were the three items unearthed with it. It’s only goal will be to collect them, then it may begin human sacrifices or it may proceed to join this conglomeration of terror that you spoke of earlier.” Azul Gato explained.

Aztec Mummy getting down to business.

Aztec Mummy getting down to business.

All right, so it would seem that we need to set up a watch for our bandaged boogeyman.” Lollipop stated.

One other thing. It may have called servants to itself.” Azul Gato cautioned. “Beings of neither the spirit world nor ours, but things in between that only the priests of old can summon.”

Can I just say that this keeps getting better and better.” Lollipop said.

Tossing an empty sucker stick into a nearby trash can, Lollipop retrieved a fresh one from her pocket and put it in her mouth.

As the sun sank, Azul Gato, Lollipop Jones, and Pecan Sandie were hiding behind different exhibits, all centered on the other artifacts found with the mummy. “So what’s the deal with this guy?” Pecan asked.

I know right, he seems to have a lot in common with a vampire.” Lollipop agreed.

I do not know, not all Aztec Mummies are the same. Some can change shape, other don’t. One of them even fought a robot, depends on what movie you watch” Azul Gato stated. “Most of them that I have faced are warriors, they look to reclaim their weapons and then go on a rampage. Sometimes they are a little more romantically inclined and kidnap women.”

See!  Told you so.

See! Told you so.

I don’t even know how that would work.” Lollipop stated, slightly disgusted.

Neither do I.” Azul Gato admitted. “We’ve always rescued her once they get to their lair.”

We?” Pecan asked.

The luchadores!” Azul Gato exclaimed.

The detective duo only had one more question after that. “How do we stop it?” They asked in unison.

Burn it, break its bones, unravel it.” Azul Gato replied. “They are pretty easy to deal with. The servants will be the hard part.”

Lollipop Jones formed her delicate hands into fists, popping each of the knuckles in turn. “Not a problem.” She stated.

Pecan slid his battle axe from his back. The instrument of destruction was still folded in half, when the time came, the gargantuan brute would unfold his tool. “When he comes, if you will deal with the servants, I will handle the mummy.” Azul Gato stated.

Pecan nodded his agreement. “Whatever.” Lollipop replied.

The dainty danger did not care who took care of it as long as this one didn’t slip away like the others had. “Bill Murray once fought off an Aztec cult while filming Quick Change.” Pecan said.

His voice held that solemn quality that he only got when he was referencing Bill Murray. “You really think now’s a good time for a Bill Murray story?” She asked.

It’s always the right time for Murray.” Pecan responded. His love of the iconic actor bordered on zealous obsession. “Apparently, they infiltrated the set and wanted to dispatch some actors to their god or something. Anyway, Bill Murray escaped and subdued the cultists with a combination of wit, charm, and small arms fire.”

Why did no one put this in the news?” Azul Gato asked, enthralled by the story.

There’s a woman who walks past selling flowers for the dead. She’s a little Latino woman, they put her in the film. In reality, she was mourning the loss of her son who was part of the cult. If they had told the press, then they couldn’t use the scene, so they kept it quiet.” Pecan explained. “Bill Murray did not mind though, he isn’t a glory hound.”

He must truly be a great man.” Azul Gato stated. “He did that and made Ghostbusters.”

Exactly.” Pecan Sandie agreed.

Lollipop Jones just groaned. From the front of the museum, glass shattered and shambling footsteps echoed off the tiled floor. Crouching down to keep concealed, the trio of crime fighters waited. The Aztec Mummy came shambling past, wiping something from its eyes. Following behind it were four figures, dressed in Aztec clothing, they looked human enough but were gray skinned. Stretching, the mummy yawned, a sound muffled by its mask, and walked towards the necessary case. Nodding to her partner, Lollipop glided behind the exhibits toward the gray beings.

Waiting until she was in position, Lollipop gave Azul Gato a thumbs up. The luchador leaped to the top of his hiding place and let out a cry. “Aztec Mummy you have traversed the laws of nature. I, Azul Gato, have come to see that you are returned to your slumber.” Finishing his speak, the wrestler rushed off his makeshift podium and clothes-lined the mummified menace.

Standing up, Pecan Sandie unfolded his axe with the flick of his wrist. The servants of the mummy were not sure who to engage. While they were caught in their indecision, Lollipop Jones crept up behind one of them and delivered a crippling blow directly to the spine, like a chiropractor that breaks backs rather than fixes them, so not really like a chiropractor, well maybe a bad chiropractor, . . . you know what we’ll go with like a chiropractor, we can discuss what type of chiropractor later. Turning at the shriek of their companion, the servants gave Pecan Sandie opportunity to rush them.

Two of the servants faced the rampaging behemoth. The other servant squared off against Lollipop Jones. As the crippled servant lay on the ground, it started to evaporate. It did not reform behind her or anywhere else nearby. “Hey Pecan!” Lollipop cried. “These guys don’t regenerate.”

A feral grin crossed Pecan’s lips as he buried the axe into one of the servant’s chests. The figure collapsed. His partner drew an obsidian blade from his belt and charged at the unarmed Pecan. Although, a man that can crush pecans with his bare hands is not exactly helpless. Grabbing the man’s wrist, keeping the knife from cutting him, Pecan swung the man over his head and onto the floor. Not letting go, Pecan repeated the action several times. When he let go, the figure was already returning to the realm it had been summoned from.

His battle axe was now lying on the floor. Grabbing the weapon, Pecan folded it back up and slid it onto its place across his back. He watched as Lollipop Jones dodged several swipes of an obsidian blade, wielded by her opponent. Ducking under a vicious slash, she delivered an Uber-Death Punch, the greatest technique of the Fighting Sisters of the Closed Fist, to the servant’s stomach. As all of its bones were atomized and the boneless mass collapsed to the floor, Pecan turned to see how the Azul Gato was faring.

Lifting the Aztec Mummy into the air, Azul Gato dropped it back, executing a perfect suplex. Pecan thought that the mummy might be protesting but the mask kept its voice muffled. Jumping onto an exhibit case, the wrestler launched himself into the air and dropped an elbow onto the mummy’s sternum. The downed monster curled into a ball once the luchador moved. “It is time to end you.” Azul Gato proclaimed.

Grabbing the Aztec Mummy by the legs, the luchador dragged the fighting figure across the floor towards a large stone slab. The detectives assumed it was his intention to drop the stone onto the mummy and break its bones. “Freeze! I-N-S.” A voice shouted from behind them.

Raising their hands, Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones stood, as several men in navy blue nylon windbreakers with the letters written in yellow along the back, converged on them. “We must destroy . . .” Azul Gato started as he was tazed.

In the clutches of the electric barbs, the luchador lost his grip on the mummy. Rushing away, the creature broke open the case and grabbed the artifacts. As the windbreakered interlopers shouted orders at the mummy, it turned into a bat and disappeared into the dark recesses of the museum. “You’ve got to be kidding me.” Lollipop Jones exclaimed.

Outside the museum, a bat emerged from the broken doors and fluttered into the night. R. N. Field stood in the shadows, her phone in her hand. “Yes, master. The mummy has escaped. Azul Gato has been apprehended as you requested.” The reporter’s voice was heavy, as if she were talking in her sleep.

Hanging up the phone, she looked around wondering why she was at the museum. Confused and worried about the sleepwalking she had been doing lately, the reporter went back to her car.

After confirming that Lollipop Jones and Pecan Sandie were citizens, the detecting duo were released. Azul Gato in his hurry to confront the mummy had failed to follow proper protocol at the border and had been deported. “I will return.” He told them from the back of the authority’s car. “It’ll take me about a week or so, but I will be back.”

As the car drove off with the luchador, Pecan Sandie and Lollipop Jones stood in front of the museum. “I don’t like this.” Lollipop said to Pecan.

Me either.” He agreed.

I think we can find them, but I’m not sure what to do if we do. It’s not like we’ve had the best of luck stopping these guys.” She stated.

I’m going to find it and I’m going to destroy it. I don’t know how yet, maybe dynamite.” Pecan stated.

Lollipop knew it was a quote from Bill Murray’s film, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, but it seemed oddly appropriate. “Come on, we’ve got work to do if we’re going to stop this gathering of theirs.” Lollipop said.

The duo walked away, knowing that if they didn’t stop the gathering something terrible would befall the city.

The End?

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